


Lipstick Kisses

by mareyshelley



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Golden Lace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:08:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 39,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21864229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mareyshelley/pseuds/mareyshelley
Summary: After breaking off her thing with Gold, Lacey struggles to go back to the way things were. It doesn’t help that their relationship was a secret, and she won’t be able to stay away from him for much longer.Nominated for Best Golden Lace and Best Lacey in the 2020 TEAs.Winner of Best Golden Lace and Best Lacey in the 2021 TEAs.
Relationships: Lacey/Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold
Comments: 250
Kudos: 219





	1. Nobody's Fool

She’d had her fair share of hangovers, but this had to be worse than any of them. 

Lacey’s stomach roiled as she hurried down the steps of her apartment. Half an hour wasted in the bathroom, getting rid of what little breakfast she’d been able to eat, had made her late. She zipped up her leather jacket and put on her helmet in a hurry. She couldn’t afford to be late again. Granny’s was the one job she actually enjoyed and felt half-competent at. Storybrooke wasn’t exactly overflowing with job opportunities.

Hopping onto her bike, she started the ignition and frowned. Another engine rumbled over the roar of her motorbike, and her already queasy stomach dropped. She looked up just as a familiar Cadillac pulled up in front of her and blocked her in.

Now she felt sick for an altogether different reason.

Lifting her visor, Lacey waited for the door to open and listened for the tapping of his cane. Her heart beat a little faster when he slipped out of his car and came to her. He walked with an easy pride, no trace of awkwardness or hesitation, in his nice suit and scarf and gloves, and she hated him for it.

Why didn’t he care? Why couldn’t he leave her alone?

Their first time together hadn’t been planned. Her apartment had been flooded and Neal had offered her a place to stay. Things had been fine for the first few days, until Neal had started dating Emma, and then he was away more nights than he was at home. It had given her plenty of evenings to get to know Neal’s dad, and then one night, after sharing his whisky and teasing him about his taste in music, she’d decided to go to Mr Gold’s bedroom.

She regretted that decision now. They’d had an unspoken understanding that they were exclusive, but they weren’t official. No one knew that she’d spent the last three months sleeping with Gold, and she intended to keep it that way.

“Get off the damn bike, Lacey,” he said, stepping in front of her. Even his voice, that gruff accent and commanding calm, got to her.

“No,” she answered, licking her lips. “Get out of my way.”

She revved the engine and Gold’s scowl deepened. The last thing she needed was to think about their first time together, or any other time. It was just sex, that much was obvious to her now, and she needed to get away from him. But he didn’t move. He kept his eyes firmly set on her, gripped his cane, and dared her to edge the bike forward.

She frowned, and he smirked.

“Get out of the fucking way, Gold.”

“Not until you and I have had a much needed talk,” he insisted.

Lacey snorted, and his calm control slipped. He frowned at her, tightening and loosening his hand over his cane, until he’d calmed himself enough to speak again.

“I saw you with Booth.”

She rolled her eyes. _Of course_. He didn’t want her anymore, not after what she’d told him, but he didn’t want her seeing anyone else, either.

“Oh yeah?” she asked, prodding at his waning patience.

“Yes.”

“We’re just friends. He’s Neal’s best friend.”

That didn’t seem to convince him that she hadn’t lost all of her wits and decided to sleep with her friends now that she’d moved on from him. Clenching his jaw, he moved, as if he meant to round the bike and grab her, but then he thought better of it and stayed where he was.

 _Smart_. She would drive away if he stepped aside.

“Get off the bike,” Gold repeated.

“No.”

“Then we’ll talk here, out in the open, about you drinking and riding around on that deathtrap while you’re--”

“Don’t you _dare_ ,” she spat, gripping the bike’s handles. “Move. I’m going to be late.”

Gold pressed his lips together and readjusted his hands over his cane. He had no intention of moving any time soon, Lacey knew that. She knew all too well that they both had a stubborn streak a mile wide. There was no getting around it.

“Then I suggest you talk to me,” he said patiently, as if he was talking to a child. “This will be over much quicker if you tell me what you think you’re doing.”

She’d had enough.

Slamming down her visor, Lacey revved her engine and gave Gold only a second to step out of her way. She rode over her sorry excuse for a flowerbed and around Gold’s car. He could drive after her if he wanted, or show up at Granny’s, but she reached the end of the street quicker than he’d be able to limp back to his car.

* * *

People were already trickling into Granny’s diner when Lacey arrived. She parked her bike around the back, and gave herself no chance to take off her gloves or jacket as she hurried inside.

Steam, the smell of coffee, and the whirr of the espresso machine welcomed her when she pushed open the back doors. It was the same thing every morning, and the same click of the till, the same people ordering their breakfasts. At one point, Lacey had appreciated the sameness of it all. It gave her structure, something to focus on. Now the reality of falling into a routine, and staying in it for the rest of her life, was slowly starting to close in around her; suffocating her.

“And where have you been?” Granny asked, catching her before the panic could set in.

Lacey pulled off her helmet and took a deep breath.

“The bike wouldn’t start,” she lied. The lie escaped her too easily. She was trying to be better at being honest, and open, but seeing Gold had set her back.

She pressed her lips into a line and looked away, unzipping her leathers.

“That darn bike,” Granny tutted. “I’ve told you and Ruby about racing around on those things. If it won’t start this time, what’s to say it won’t _stop_ next time, hm?”

“It’s fine, Granny,” she sighed and slipped on her apron. “I know what I’m doing.”

Granny hummed. Lacey wasn’t sure if she was agreeing or if she was disgruntled but knew it was a losing battle. She would never part with her bike. There was no way she’d be able to afford a new one now that her parents were gone, or a car. She’d have to walk everywhere, and then she’d never get to work on time.

Leaving Granny with a parting smile, Lacey hurried through to the front counter. The early morning crowd had already found their seats, and were either already eating or waiting to eat.

The same morning crowd. The same routine.

Lacey frowned.

“Hey,” Ruby chirped, dropping an order on the counter. “Where’ve you been?”

“I overslept.” Another lie.

Ruby’s eyes, heavy with black liner, narrowed, and Lacey hoped she didn’t look as green as she felt. The smell of the coffee was starting to churn her stomach again.

“Did you go out last night?” Ruby asked.

“Less gossiping, more taking orders,” Granny called through the serving window, and snatched up Ruby’s order.

Lacey smiled thinly at Ruby, and waited for her to return to waiting before she dared to rub her stomach. If ever there was a time she _had_ to keep her job, and settle for mundane repetition, it was now.

The rest of the morning moved slowly. Lacey stood at the till and took the morning coffee orders. A few friendly faces had been in, and settled in for a chat before Granny had ordered her back to work, but it had been mostly quiet.

Yawning into the back of her hand, Lacey leaned against the counter and watched the door. Her feet were killing her, but she didn’t dare sit down. She needed to keep busy; to keep moving. Granny eyed her more than once, and never seemed quite convinced by the reassuring smiles that Lacey sent.

It wasn’t until after noon, when the lunchtime crowd was starting to thin, that her day took another dip.

She only just managed to keep herself from ducking behind the counter when she saw him walking in. He tapped his cane loudly, deliberately, filling the silence left as the other customers nervously watched him.

“Can you serve Neal’s dad?” Ruby asked in a hushed whisper that definitely wasn’t as quiet as she thought it was. Lacey glanced between her and Gold, and he raised an eyebrow at her.

“I can’t, I’m--”

“ _Please_. He’s so...” Ruby glanced at him over her shoulder, but her head snapped back to Lacey when she found him watching her. “He’s so angry.”

Lacey laughed drily and snatched up the notepad.

“Anger’s too strong an emotion for him,” she suggested. “Try empty.”

Not waiting around to see Ruby’s reaction, or to give her a chance to ask for an explanation, Lacey marched over to his table. He’d sat himself in one of the corner booths, away from prying eyes of other customers, but where he knew she could see him from her till.

“What do you want?” Lacey asked, blunt and to the point, and put her pencil to the notepad.

“I want to talk,” he said, in the same clipped voice as that morning.

“We don’t serve that.”

“ _Lacey._ ”

“This is a diner. I’m working. You have to order something if you want to sit in here.”

She tapped the notepad and Gold huffed out a sigh.

The rest of the town might have been easily scared into doing his bidding, but Lacey wouldn't be tricked by his surly scowls and gruff words. She'd seen him at his most vulnerable, and he knew it. His act wouldn't work on her.

“I’ll have a black coffee, and then we’ll talk.”

Lacey levelled him with a look. “I’ll get you a coffee.”

She didn’t need to write down his order. Gold rarely drank coffee, and when he did he took coffee by itself with no sweeteners. On a normal day, Lacey had no problem fulfilling that order for him, but nothing was normal anymore. The smell of the bitter coffee caught in her nose and had her stomach rolling when she returned to his table.

He watched her closely, too closely, as she set the cup down in front of him. She wanted to leave without saying a word to him, and she tried, but the smell of the coffee finally became too much. Bile rose in the back of her throat.

“Lacey?”

 _Oh no_.

There was no calm way to run away from Gold’s booth without causing suspicion, but she tried. Her boots clicked loudly as she took determined, quick steps away from him, until she was out of sight and free to run to the restrooms. She didn’t even have time to lock the door behind her before her stomach emptied itself into the nearest toilet bowl. It wasn’t the first time she’d been there, after one too many at the Rabbit Hole, but that was for a very different reason.

Groaning, Lacey slid down the wall of the bathroom stall and sat on the floor. She felt a little better, now that the smell of coffee was gone, but now she had to face the gnawing worry that _someone_ must have seen her hurrying to the restroom.

Everyone would find out the truth eventually, but Lacey had hoped to keep it a secret for a little longer.

“Lacey?”

She froze. Ice ran through her as the restroom door closed and a rhythmic tapping approached her stall.

“I know you’re in there, sweetheart.”

Clenching her fists, Lacey pushed herself up and leaned against the stall door. The taste of bile was still in her mouth, and she tried not to gag. The last thing she needed was Gold’s pity.

“Can I…” His cane tapped a little closer. “Do you need help?”

“I’m fine.”

She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand, smudging her lipstick in a cherry streak. _Fuck it_. She had to look a mess after that, and she could probably get away with telling Granny she didn’t feel well.

Sighing, Lacey hit her forehead against the door and watched the shadow of his feet moving beneath it.

“I’m gonna head home,” she told him.

“You’re not going anywhere on that bike.”

Frowning, Lacey pulled back the door a crack, just enough to make sure he knew she was frowning at him. “Leave me alone.”

“You’re not going on that bike,” Gold repeated. “I’ll drive you.”

“And trap me in your car so we can _talk_? No thanks.”

“I’ll call Neal, then.”

He reached into his inner breast pocket, and her stomach dropped. 

"No!" She grabbed his arm and didn't have time to worry about touching him. Gold looked stunned, with his lips slightly parted and hand raised between them.

"Don't you dare tell Neal. I don't want anyone to know."

He snapped his mouth shut and pulled his hand free.

"Of course."

Whatever she'd said, it obviously had been the wrong thing. That spark of care, the one she might have fooled herself into thinking was there, quickly faded. He shut himself off, fixing his suit, and his expression dropped to one with little more expression than mild disinterest.

Biting her lip, Lacey glanced to the restroom door and back to Gold.

"I'll go with you," she decided. "But we're not talking."

He gripped his cane. "Why not?"

She licked her lips and stepped out of the stall. In the mirror, just over Gold's shoulder, she caught sight of her pale face and smudged lips. No wonder he didn't find her attractive anymore. She looked awful.

"I'm not ready," she told him simply, and left him to follow after her.


	2. You're Too Possessive

Her drink went out of the window while no one was looking. Hopefully they wouldn’t get out of the car and see the puddle of wasted Jack Daniel’s on the ground. If they did, Lacey wasn’t sure what excuse she could come up with. The fact that she wasn’t drinking would be obvious, and there weren’t many reasons for her to suddenly be teetotal.

Neal may have been dating the sheriff, but his car stunk of cigarette smoke and booze. That, at least, gave her an excuse to have the back window open. Even if it was still technically winter. The cool evening air was a small price to pay to keep the smell in his car from being too strong.

“Lace?” 

Her head snapped up, pulled from her thoughts, and she found Neal smirking at her from the front seat. Lacey sat up and put her half-empty bottle on the seat beside her. Neal looked too much like his dad when he smiled like that.

“You weren’t listening, were you?” he asked.

She pushed her hair out of her face and smiled. “Sorry.”

The smile couldn’t have been enough to convince him. His own slipped from his face, into a soft frown of concern, and he turned around a little further in his seat.

“Are you alright?” he pressed.

Ruby shuffled closer to her in the back seat, smiling sympathetically. “She had a run in with Gold earlier.”

August turned in his seat to face them. “What?” 

“What did he do?” Neal asked.

“Nothing,” she lied, drawing her knees up. She didn’t like all of their eyes directed at her. She wore the baggiest, comfiest t-shirt she owned. They wouldn’t be able to see anything, and her leather jacket mostly hid that her t-shirt was a size too big.

“It wasn’t nothing,” Ruby said gently, rubbing her shoulder. “What did he say to make you run away like that?”

“I didn’t run.” Her answer had been too quick and too defensive, she could tell by the looks on their faces. 

It was dark outside. Very little could be seen inside Neal’s car save for what bits were caught by the streetlamps. Even then, Lacey pulled her jacket closed around herself. She could still see their faces. The three of them shared a look, one that told Neal his dad had to have said something awful to rattle Lacey like that. 

“I think I’m gonna head home,” she decided, feigning a yawn before they could pry the truth out of her.

“You sure?” Neal was still frowning, but she at least knew it wasn’t aimed at her. He didn’t know what she’d done yet.

“Yeah.” Lacey nodded, even as she opened the back door and started to step out. “I need an early night.”

“Wait,” Ruby said, sliding along the backseat to follow after her. “Where’s your bike?”

Lacey sighed.

She hadn't wanted to admit that her bike was still at Granny's, no matter how late it was. She'd rather walk alone in the dark than risk being around her friends for too long; to have some time to think before she went home and collapsed into bed. Alone. Alone was better. She'd been alone since her parents had died, and she'd used her inheritance to move and buy her bike.

Alone didn't get her hurt, or hurt anyone else.

August led her to his own bike, parked just down the road from Neal's yellow bug. Apparently Gold hated his son’s car. Lacey loved it.

“So,” August hedged, glancing her way. “What’s been going on with you?”

Laughing away his concern, Lacey shoved her hands in her pockets and walked ahead.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You’re not drinking.”

She stopped, a nervous anxiety dropping in her stomach. August’s footsteps grew closer, and she did her best to keep her face neutral. She even smiled at him when he stopped at her side.

“I’m just not in the mood,” she said.

He huffed a laugh and shook his head. Lacey couldn’t tell if he believed her or not, but he started walking again and she hesitantly followed after him.

“You could have told us,” he pointed out.

“I _know_ , but I--” August disappeared around a corner and she knew exactly where he was leading her. She took a deep breath, forcing her feet to keep moving. “I didn’t want you guys to worry.”

With a sinking, sickly feeling in her gut, Lacey saw the lights were still on in Gold’s shop. It shouldn’t have surprised her. It was late, and Gold always worked late.

August’s bike wasn’t directly opposite the shop, but it was close enough that Gold had to have spotted August leave it there. Lacey hurried after him before he noticed her footsteps had slowed down, and he handed her the spare helmet from the backseat of his bike; the one Ruby usually used.

“We’re worried anyway,” he said. “Because we care. It’s a side effect of being friends.”

“Right,” she said quietly, slipping the helmet on. It gave her a vein hope that Gold, if he looked outside, wouldn’t recognise her. He wouldn’t mistake her for Ruby, but she could have been anyone with that helmet covering her hair and face.

“You can talk to me, you know?” August reminded. “Or any of us.”

Lacey did know. Logically, she knew her friends were there for her and would want to help. But self-doubt was a hell of a thing. It was hard to ignore the voice that told her they would stop caring as soon as they knew the truth.

“I know.” She nodded.

Smiling, unsure but reassuring, August nodded and grasped the handle of his bike.

“Right, well… Get on.”

He mounted the bike first, and Lacey climbed on behind him. His bike was a newer and bigger model than her own, with a radio built into the helmets. The seats were wider than she was used to, and she shuffled around a little before she felt comfortable enough to lean towards August. There was more than enough room behind her for her to sit back, to keep her body from pressing too closely against his.

August lifted the bike and started the engine, and the nerves rose again in her stomach. If Gold hadn’t spotted anyone outside his shop yet, he had to know there was someone there now.

Holding her breath, Lacey looked at the shop’s front. The lights were still on, and if she looked hard enough she could almost see movement behind the blinds.

“Ready?” August’s voice asked over the radio in the helmet.

“Yeah,” Lacey said, snapping out of her thoughts. She looked away from Gold’s shop, and tried to push back the guilt as she wrapped her arms around August. “Let’s go.”

* * *

August took her home, and agreed to drive her to work the next morning. They didn’t live far apart, which made Lacey feel a little less guilty for accepting his offer.

She left Granny’s a little after closing that next evening, after agreeing to lock up. With August’s help she hadn’t been late, for once, but the day had been a long one and she couldn’t wait to get home. Her feet ached, her stomach had been upset by the smell of coffee again, and she was exhausted.

If nothing else, Lacey reminded herself, lifting her bike helmet, she’d made a decent amount of money. And she needed all the money she could get.

“I saw you with Booth last night.”

Lacey winced and looked up. Gold stood nearby, lit by the one lamp on the back of Granny’s diner. Her bike was the only one of the staff vehicles left. It stood alone in the small space, she realised. He must have walked from his shop and left the Cadillac behind. She glanced down at his cane, and he tapped his fingers on the handle.

“And again this morning,” he added, raising an eyebrow. “What happened in between, I wonder.”

She held her helmet in front of herself, over her stomach, like a barrier between the two of them. Part of her wanted to throw it at him. 

“I needed a ride,” she reasoned. “Some idiot made me leave my bike here.”

He gripped the handle of his cane so tight the leather of his gloves creaked.

“Did he spend the night?”

Scoffing, Lacey mounted her bike and made him wait for her answer. He couldn’t push her away and then try to pull her back when he thought she was moving on. Nothing had ever happened between her and August, not even a drunken kiss, but it couldn’t hurt to ignore Gold for a moment. It was his favourite thing to do to her.

She twisted her hair into a loose braid and slipped on her helmet, with Gold watching her the whole time.

“Lacey...”

“I slept alone,” she finally answered, lifting her visor.

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“You never answer mine.”

His jaw tightened. She didn’t know if he really believed she’d been sleeping with someone else, and she didn’t really care. It was his own fault. He’d assumed the worst in her, after he’d pushed her away, and he’d done it when she needed him most.

Leaning on his cane, Gold stepped closer to her bike and put his hand on the handle.

“Take that thing off,” he said. Harsh. To the point. It reminded her too much of another time he’d used that voice on her, when he’d ordered her to take other things off.

Unable to fight the little jump of excitement in her heart, Lacey lifted off her helmet and frowned at him.

“What do you want, Gold?”

“To _talk_ ,” he answered, sliding his hand from the front of the bike to her knee. “To know when I started being Gold again.”

Lacey kept as still as she should, but it was near impossible with his hand on her knee and his eyes looking at her like _that_. The back of Granny’s diner was hardly well lit, and the intense look in his eyes was made darker still by the poor lighting. She breathed a little heavier and his eyes dropped to her chest.

“You know when,” she just about made herself say, grasping the helmet in front of her stomach like it could somehow help her.

His hand moved higher, and her breathing stuttered.

“Remind me,” Gold whispered.

She swallowed the lump in the back of her throat, shaking her head.

“You pulled away.”

His hand gripped her thigh. “So you moved on to August Booth.”

The urge to throw her helmet at him swiftly returned. She gripped it tighter, holding it in her lap so his hand couldn’t slip any higher, and frowned at him.

There was one other way of ruffling his perfectly tailored feathers.

“You’re an idiot,” Lacey said, dropping her helmet to pull him forward by his lapels. She kissed him, and he squeezed her leg harder.

She already knew the feeling of his lips. Kissing him felt as natural to her as riding her bike, and Lacey parted her lips to him on a sigh.

This was something she’d grown very good at with Gold. Whenever he was in a mood, whenever he was angry at a tenant or a customer, Lacey would kiss him and fluster him. It took his mind off whatever had bothered him, made him forget his troubles, and she got the satisfaction of knowing the fearsome Mr. Gold was so easily mollified by her touch.

It worked just as well now. He leaned into her, following after her lips, and Lacey wound her arms around his neck. She forgot herself, with her heart thumping excitedly in her chest and the warmth of his body near hers, and she pressed herself against him.

His hands drifted higher, around her helmet, and panic gripped her. She ended the kiss abruptly, pushing him away, and pulled the helmet closer.

Gold stumbled back, but caught himself with his cane. His anger, as expected, had abated with her kiss. It had softened him, but it hadn’t rid him of the challenge in his eyes. They narrowed, and Lacey would have put her helmet back on if he wasn’t looking at her so closely. Lacey stared back. Her lipstick had left a light red smudge on his lips. She used to love leaving lipstick on his skin, with the wild thrill that someone might see.

She looked down, and his gaze followed.

“There’s no use in hiding,” he said, in an oddly gentle tone. “I know why you’re dressed like that. Even if no one else does.”

He took a step forward, and waited to see her reaction.

“Baggy clothes won’t work for long, dearie.”

Lacey stayed quiet, glaring at him defiantly. Even as he leaned towards her, she held her ground and balled her hands into fists around her helmet. But it was all for nothing when he reached out to touch her. His hand stroked down her side, and he pulled her t-shirt tight, revealing the small, round bump underneath.

She tried to keep her breathing even, biting her lip to keep back the sudden wetness in her eyes. Gold ran his hand over her stomach, enthralled, and it all became too much. She didn’t want to see Gold with soft eyes and an even softer smile, while he caressed her stomach as if it meant something to him. He was a possessive man. That’s all it was. It was _his_ child, and he had only wanted her to be his possession too.

Pushing his hand away, Lacey fixed the shirt again to hide her stomach, and the look in Gold’s eyes hardened.

“How did you know?” she demanded.

Lacey had always been small, and it seemed her baby would be too. For once, she didn't mind that she was smaller than most people. Her bump had been easy to hide because of it, but Gold knew, and he was right. In a week or two, her oversized shirts wouldn't be able to hide her growing belly.

“Other than the morning sickness?” he asked, frowning. “Is this why you left?”

“I didn’t know then.”

“Then what happened before you found out? Why were you hiding it?”

She frowned, zipping up her jacket with a little more force than necessary, and ignored the way it stretched over her stomach. His face changed.

“You’re not just hiding it from me, are you?” Gold asked, eyeing her with a look that was uncomfortably close to sympathy. “You’re hiding from yourself.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, with as calm a voice as she could muster, and put on her helmet

“I know exactly what I’m talking about,” Gold pressed. “I know _you_.”

She wanted to laugh. She wanted to throw all of her bitter thoughts at him, about how you couldn’t really _know_ someone just because you’d fucked a few times. But the words wouldn’t come out, and she didn’t trust herself to speak without her voice breaking, so she kept quiet.

He put his hand on her thigh again, and she started to shake her head before he even spoke. She knew what he wanted to say.

“Why did you kiss me?” he asked, his eyes pleading. Lacey had to look away.

Swallowing thickly, she took the bike off its stand and started it up. She couldn’t look at Gold now, but Lacey knew that he was still looking at her.

“I don’t know,” she lied, before snapping her visor shut and driving away.


	3. Love Hurts

It hadn’t been long after Gold _officially_ found out the truth, that other people started to suspect something. Maybe a week or two, once it started to get harder to hide her stomach behind baggy t-shirts and leather jackets.

Lacey knew people would find out eventually, but that hadn’t stopped her from clinging on to naive hope, and a little denial, that it wouldn’t happen for another month or two.

Taking a day off work had been easy, and she suspected that had something to do with Granny knowing about her condition. Mrs. Lucas never missed a thing, but luckily for Lacey, Ruby accepted her taking a day off without question. While the rest of Storybrooke loved to gossip, and Mr. Gold wouldn’t stop calling or texting her, her friends thankfully didn’t suspect a thing.

Her first scan, which she should have had by now, went as well as could be expected. It was fine, she had nothing to worry about, but she did worry. Now she had a little picture in her purse; a picture she hadn’t and didn’t want to look at, because it made the whole thing _real_. Lacey wasn’t ready to give up the little bubble she’d put herself in, where she could pretend nothing at all had changed. She could go back to her time before Gold, where she’d play pool in the Rabbit Hole, ride her bike with Ruby and August, or whatever the hell else she wanted to do.

She could still do that, no matter how much Gold protested.

Clutching her purse to her stomach, Lacey left the clinic with her head down. The months were starting to warm up now, but it wasn’t so warm that people would be suspicious of her keeping covered up.

“Hey.” A hand waved in the corner of her eye and suddenly Ruby was there, smiling as though it was normal to see your best friend leaving a Planned Parenthood.

Lacey grasped her bag even tighter, fighting the urge to run back inside. It was too late now.

“What’re you doing here?” The words didn’t sound as angry or demanding as she’d hoped. Her voice was too quiet, too unsure of herself, but at least Ruby looked guilty. She dropped her hand and looked at the clinic.

“Granny,” she admitted. “She said she suspected… I told her you’d have told me if you were.”

“There was nothing to tell,” Lacey said, edging away from the clinic's doors. She hadn’t arrived on her bike, she’d walked, and now she wished she had it so she could make a quick escape.

“Lacey, you’re preg--”

“Don’t,” she interrupted, breaking into a faster walk. “It was too early to tell anyone.”

That was a lie and both of them knew it. Being so far into a pregnancy that she was starting to show was not _too early_.

“You could have told us,” Ruby said, keeping up with her long strides easily. “Or just me, if you’re...” She hesitated. “If you’re embarrassed.”

“Why would I be embarrassed?”

“Lacey...”

Ruby touched her arm and they both stopped at the end of the street. A few cars drove by, but it was after lunch and most residents were back at work. Lacey watched the few people who were on the street. A man with an umbrella walked his dog. The journalist from the Daily Mirror crossed the street, and Lacey turned her back on him. Ruby was speaking but Lacey wasn’t listening.

“We’ve been worried for weeks now,” she finished. “Is it something to do with the father?”

She looked at Ruby.

“No. Why would it be?”

“Well, you haven’t--” Ruby shrugged a shoulder, waving her hands uselessly. “You weren’t dating.”

Lacey swallowed, shaking her head.

“Will you tell me who he is?”

She couldn’t bring herself to speak. She just kept shaking her head and angrily fighting back the sting in her eyes. Why was everyone so determined to talk about this? First Gold, now Ruby. It was _her_ who had to live through it. It was her who carried the shame, the feeling of being used, and the sudden craving for doughnuts. None of this would have happened if she’d followed her own rule to not get too close to anyone.

“I can’t,” she muttered. “I have to go.”

* * *

She lived on the top floor, which was only really the second floor, of a small apartment building. There were three apartments on each floor, and Lacey's was the third on hers. It was no wonder Gold was so rich, when he had so many tenants.

Lacey hurried up the steps, threw open her door, and locked it behind her. She breathed a sigh of relief when the lock clicked, shutting out the whole town.

Slumping against the door, she kicked off her boots and threw her purse to the side. The picture would be creased, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She didn’t want it. She hadn’t accepted it for herself.

She left the purse behind and shuffled further into her apartment. It was only small. The living room doubled as her bedroom, with a kitchenette to the left of the door. The bathroom was separate, and her living space had two big windows overlooking the harbour so it didn’t feel too claustrophobic. The sea view boosted the price of rent a little, but it was worth it to not have an apartment on the main street. And her landlord had been lenient on her over the last few months, before they’d drifted apart.

There was a bookcase beside her bed, full of books she hadn’t touched for longer than she cared to admit. Lacey had once been an avid reader, but things changed. Things always changed, and she'd once enjoyed the change. She'd enjoyed moving around, before finding and settling into Storybrooke. Nowhere had felt right until finding that quiet town. It was harder to blend into a place like that, but a part of her liked it. Maybe she'd take up reading again, once her secret got so big that it'd be impossible to hide and avoid the inevitable questions of its paternity.

Sighing, Lacey threw her keys on top of the bookcase and fell backwards onto her bed.

She needed to work up her courage before she could give the sonogram to him. Music normally helped to get her excited for a night out, or to drown out the silence of her one-person apartment. Finding the right playlist on her phone, Lacey turned up the volume and reluctantly slid off the bed. She needed to find something to wear that wasn’t too tight.

The next hour saw Lacey listening to music as loud as she could get away with, eating doughnuts, and rummaging through her wardrobe to find _something_ that was too big for her. She almost didn’t hear the first set of knocks at her apartment door, but she definitely heard the second, more insistent set of knocks.

Jumping over her bed, Lacey slipped on the first top she could grab and hurried to the door. There were only three people who ever visited her apartment, and there was no point in hiding her state from them anymore.

She slipped the tank top over her head, took a bite out of her doughnut, and unlocked the door.

Gold stood on the other side, a hand raised as if ready to knock again, and his other rested over his cane in front of him. She wanted to slam the door in his face, but it was too late. His eyes dropped to her stomach, and he sucked in a breath as his hand fell to his side.

Lacey swallowed her mouthful of doughnut and almost choked.

“What are you doing here?” she hissed, the first to break the awkward silence.

Gold recovered quickly, and she envied him that. His face went blank, he straightened his back, and he rested both hands on the handle of his cane.

“I’m here about the rent, Miss French.”

She held the door handle tighter, wondering if she could get away with closing the door on him, as a feeling of dread twisted inside her. She owed him money, she knew that. Her rent payments had grown irregular while they’d been sleeping together, but he’d assured her that it was alright. He said he didn’t like the idea of accepting payment from her. Another lie.

Lacey frowned, edging the door a little further shut to cover herself, and peered around the edge at him.

“I’m a little busy right now,” she said.

Gold’s eyes, which always noticed far too much, flicked over her shoulder to what little he could see of the apartment. Her music was still playing, a loud mixture of guitars and drums, and he smirked at her.

“Yes, I’m sure you are,” he said, infuriatingly smug. “But this won’t take long.”

Twisting her lips in thought, Lacey glanced at the apartment staircase, and the doors of her neighbours down the hall. If any of them were in, they would have complained about her music by now. She was definitely alone, and wouldn’t be able to get away with making a scene.

“Fine,” she decided, swinging the door open. “You’ve got five minutes, Alice.”

When she'd first found out his name, she'd immediately tried to shorten it, just to annoy him. His first name was firmly off limits. He’d been named after his dad, and Lacey could recognise the signs of someone who’d had a distant father. So she’d asked if he had a middle name, and had had a lot of fun at his expense. Alastair had become Al, Ally, and Alice, all of which earned her a scowl. Lacey quickly settled on Alice. He hated it, so she made sure to use it as often as she could.

Lacey kicked aside some of the clothes she’d tossed from her wardrobe; things that would be too tight or too revealing. In the end, none of her searching had mattered. She was wearing one of the tightest things she owned, and Gold couldn’t take his eyes off her.

She grabbed her jacket off the bed and slipped it on.

“How much do you want?” she asked, turning her back on him.

She dusted her fingers off on her jeans, ridding them of doughnut powder, and hoped Gold wouldn’t see through her. His cane clicked against the wooden floor, and he rounded the bed, until they were facing each other again.

“I’m not here about the rent, Lacey,” he said, looking over the mess around her. “Do you have a bassinet yet, or… anything?”

Her hands turned to fists.

“I don’t need anything. It’s too early.”

“Lacey, it’s been nearly four months.”

“More like three. That’s nothing.”

“It’s not _nothing_. It’s--”

“I have something for you,” she interrupted, turning around and making her way to the door. She snatched up her bag and rifled through it. “And then you can leave.”

It wasn’t exactly how she’d planned on showing him. She’d half-hoped that his shop would be closed and she could get away with slipping it through the letterbox. It was just her luck that he’d turn up at her door instead.

Taking out the sonogram, Lacey smoothed out the creased corners and handed it to him. She hadn’t looked at it herself, and she didn’t look at it as she gave it to Gold.

His hands shook when he took it, but she couldn’t see his face. She didn’t want to. She turned her attention to the mess of shirts on her bed, scooping them all up to throw them back into the wardrobe. Gold stayed silent the whole time. He sniffed and cleared his throat, and when she finally brought herself to look at him, a slight redness to his eyes and face was all that gave away what he might have felt. His expression was calm, neutral.

Gold slipped the picture into his inside pocket and swallowed.

“Thank you,” he muttered.

“Sure.” Lacey nodded, pushing forward a smile. It was only a picture. It was nothing for either of them to cry about. “You can go now. Don’t wanna keep you from your important work.” 

“The shop can wait,” he said, tapping his fingers on his cane handle. That was usually a sign of irritation, like when he couldn’t decide what to do about a particularly annoying tenant, but Lacey didn’t think he was irritated. He seemed to be doing it just for something to do with his hands.

She pushed her lips together and looked away. All of her shirts were cleared up. There wasn’t much more tidying to distract herself with, save for a few plates and glasses on her coffee table.

“I’ll pay for whatever else you need,” he promised, just as the silence was beginning to grow awkward.

Lacey snorted and leaned back against her wardrobe, pushing the doors shut.

“I don’t need your help,” she said.

“Well you’re getting it.”

A laugh escaped her before she could stop herself. Gold narrowed his eyes and she shook her head, pushing away from the wardrobe.

“Only you could make that sound like a threat.”

She rounded Gold, leaving a wide gap between them, and collected up her plates and the now empty box of doughnuts. She frowned, snapping the lid shut. Gold didn’t need to know she’d eaten the whole box of Granny’s doughnuts by herself.

Lacey quickly carried them away to her kitchenette, but his cane tapped behind her. Why couldn’t he leave her alone?

She shooed him aside on her way back to the bed, and he didn’t follow her that time. He stayed beside the kitchen counters, watching her.

“Are the doughnuts a craving?”

He really did notice too much.

Lacey just shrugged and sat on the end of her bed. She’d been trying so hard to be open and honest with the people around her, before she got herself into trouble. Pulling herself out of old habits became harder after that. Now she felt like all she ever did was hide and lie. She was tired of it, but she wasn’t quite ready to speak the truth.

“I can’t even eat now without you checking up on me.”

“Lacey, I--”

“Why are you still here?” she asked, standing up. “I thought you were a big, important man. Don’t you have deals to be making?”

Gold slowly moved closer, as if he was waiting for her to pull away, or push him away. But she didn’t. Lacey stayed where she was, hanging her head and pulling her knees up to her chest, and waited for him to say he was leaving.

His fingers brushed her cheek gently, making her look up, and then his lips met hers. The kiss wasn’t like their last, outside Granny’s at night, before she sped away on her bike. It was soft and tender. Too tender. Tears sprang to her eyes, and before she could think better of it, Lacey pressed a kiss to his cheek as he pulled away.

“I...” Gold licked his lips and stepped back, leaning heavily on his cane. “I told Neal I’d only be twenty minutes. I should go.”

“Right.” Lacey nodded, at a loss for what else to do or say, and he moved further away from her.

She was wearing a darker lipstick that day; a plummy red that left a clear print on his lips and cheek. Lacey put her hand to her mouth, trying to catch her breath, and didn’t say anything as she watched him walk out the door.


	4. Spark in the Dark

“It’s all here, Dr. Hopper. Did you want anything else?”

“No, no. That’s it.” Hopper lifted his umbrella as Gold collected the two stacks of money, freshly counted, from the counter top.

“See you next week?” Hopper asked.

It was a simple question, and vague enough that if Gold wanted to deliberately misunderstand, he could. He liked that about Hopper. He didn’t think the man would ever break patient-doctor confidentiality.

“Next week,” Gold confirmed, rolling the fresh bills up.

Hopper gave him a smile and a wave, and turned to leave while Gold made a note in his ledger. Neal had offered his help, but Gold had done rent collections for almost three decades while Neal was growing up. He didn’t need his son’s help, and he’d told him as much before sending him off to that awful bar up the street.

The shop bell rang as Hopper left, but it didn’t ring as the door closed behind him.

Gold frowned and looked up, closing his ledger. He hoped his surprise didn’t register on his face; he at least resisted the urge to do a double take.

Lacey stood in the doorway, holding it open with her hip and letting in the cold winter air. He couldn’t help himself. His eyes dropped to her stomach, hidden in the shadows of her leather jacket and her ridiculously oversized t-shirt. It was obvious to him that she was hiding a small bump, but she seemed to think that no one else knew.

Neal certainly knew. He’d told Gold a week ago that the Lucas girl had figured it out and told him. Unfortunately for Neal’s friends, his boy told him everything, and if the Lucas girl knew, then most of the town knew. Including his therapist.

“What did the doctor want?” she asked, crossing her arms.

Pushing forward a smile that had just a little too much tooth for it to be friendly, Gold held up the roll of money and slipped it into his breast pocket.

“It’s rent week, dearie.”

Lacey wasn’t impressed. He hadn’t really expected her to be, but he had expected a reluctant smile, or for her to tease him. Instead, she pushed herself off the door and let it slam shut behind her. Without a word, she locked it with an ominous click, and turned the sign.

He was in trouble.

“Neal saw your face,” she said, marching to the counter and planting her hands flat on his ledger.

Slipping it out from under her, and earning himself a scowl, Gold turned and put the book on the desk behind him.

“I am his father,” he reminded her. “I should imagine he’s seen my face more than once.”

“You know what I mean. I overheard him with August. He saw your face with lipstick on it.”

It seemed his boy also told his friends everything. Gold didn’t know where Neal had gotten his openness from.

He sighed, squeezing the handle of his cane, and counted to ten in his head.

“Yes, I know,” he said carefully, turning to face her. Hopper had warned him that his temper would only make things between him and his girlfriend worse, but he wasn’t sure his attempts to calm down ever worked with Lacey. She didn’t seem to appreciate him being calm.

“I didn’t tell him anything,” he said.

She searched his face, suspicion clear in her beautiful eyes, and then her frown softened. Her shoulders sagged and she leaned away from the counter.

“Good,” she said, giving the words a moment to sink in. “Good.” She played with the front of her shirt, twisting the hem in her hands, and he didn’t think she realised she was doing it. If she did, she’d known that she was only drawing attention to her stomach.

She took a deep breath and dropped her hands to her sides.

“Is that why you kissed me?” she asked.

It was his turn to frown.

“What?”

“Did you kiss me so you could go back to Neal with _my_ lipstick on your face?” she said, putting her hands on her hips.

Gold shook his hand in disbelief. He tapped his fingers on his cane, counting further to twenty.

“Do you really think that?”

She didn’t answer, but she didn’t relent in her anger either. Lacey kept her chin raised, her eyes locked on his face and looking him over, as if she didn’t like what she found.

He tried not to wince, but he knew that silence with Lacey wasn’t always necessarily bad. She struggled to share her feelings and be open just as much as he did. It would have earned him more than a disbelieving look if he voiced those thoughts out loud, but Lacey only needed someone to be gentle with her.

“I didn’t know. He asked me who it was, but I told him I couldn’t say.”

Lacey pressed her lips into a line, and he leaned over the counter, bringing their faces closer together.

“If I’d wanted the whole town to know about us, dear, I wouldn’t kiss you in the privacy of your apartment.”

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, a pretty red tingeing her cheeks, and Gold smiled. It had always been fairly easy to excite her, even now, but that didn’t fix the fact that Lacey clearly had her own issues with self-doubt to work on. Dr. Hopper would no doubt agree, if he’d been honest with the man about who the woman he’d been dating was. 

Another secret that he would eventually have to tell.

If there was one thing he’d learnt from his sessions with Dr. Hopper, it was that bottling things up never helped anyone.

“Lacey.” She looked up at him. “You can’t keep running,” Gold said, hoping his voice was gentle and not patronising. He couldn’t tell from her expression alone. Her lips, coated in dark red lipstick, were pressed together, and she shook her head at him before he’d even finished.

“You can’t. You can’t keep everything in and hope it all goes away,” he added, gesturing to her stomach with his free hand. “ _This_ won’t go away.”

Lacey narrowed her eyes.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do with my life. It’s _my_ life.”

“I know, but--”

“I don’t have to tell anyone anything,” she interrupted, the angry edge in her voice breaking. “Least of all you.”

“Lacey...”

“I shouldn’t have come here,” she said, huffing a bitter laugh. “I should be sitting in the Rabbit Hole with my friends. But then I heard Neal...” She sniffed and looked away, to a glass mobile hanging from the ceiling.

Lacey frowned.

“This was a bad idea,” she finished, and Gold didn’t want to know if she meant going to his shop that night, or all the other nights she’d visited him before.

Carefully, like he was about to approach a wild cat with particularly sharp claws, Gold rounded the counter with a soft tap of his cane. She stood rigid, watching him with uncertain, wary eyes.

“Neal said he was meeting you at that bar,” he said calmly.

Lacey nodded. “With August and Ruby.”

Gold reached for her, and when she didn’t flinch or pull away, his cupped her cheek.

“But instead you came here?”

She released a breath and nodded again. “It was a bad idea.”

He leaned in, waiting all the while for her to push him away, until she didn’t, and their lips were close enough to touch.

“We’re very good at bad ideas,” he whispered.

As much as she would likely deny it later, Lacey kissed him first, and he’d missed her too much to stop things there. Her kisses were warm and soft, and Gold wondered how he'd lasted the last few months without them.

He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her against him. It was easy to slip back into old habits. Gold wasn’t likely to ever forget the way her warm body moulded so perfectly against his, or the soft sounds she made whenever he ran his hand up her sides. Her hands dug into his back, holding him close, and he knew that whatever they needed to talk about could wait until later. Much later.

She kissed him in broken kisses, interrupted by their need to pull at each other's clothes. He pushed off her jacket, and Lacey shrugged it off before pulling at his blazer.

"I've missed you." She whispered it so quietly that Gold almost thought she hadn't wanted him to hear.

Backing her into the counter, Lacey pressed her hand to his chest and broke their slow kisses.

“Wait,” she said, turning her face away when he tried to kiss her again.

His heart sank. Of course it was too much to think that she’d actually want him again. She didn’t want to be pregnant, why would she want anything to do with the very thing that had put her in that position in the first place?

But Lacey took his hand and led him towards the back room, and his heart beat even faster.

Neither said anything as she pulled him after her, kicked off her shoes and tugged him towards the bed. He would follow her anywhere. Especially when he saw the very small bump, barely hidden under her t-shirt.

“Stop staring and come here,” Lacey said, as blunt and forward as ever, and wound her arms around his neck. 

Lacey and he had never been ones for gentle lovemaking. They were rough, pulling at one another's clothes desperately and falling onto whatever surface was the closest. He hadn’t known Lacey was capable of something slower. She pushed at their clothes, ridding them of shirts and tie and bra, and edged him backwards towards the bed.

"Lacey," he whispered between tender, languid kisses. She pulled back with a soft smack of their lips and raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you sure?"

Replying with another kiss, Lacey ran her hands up his bare chest and rested them on his shoulders.

"Sit back," she said, pushing on him lightly.

Her hands and lips on him had been enough to stir his cock, but hearing those words said in her breathy voice, with that dark look in her eyes, made Gold almost drop his cane. He sat heavily on the bed and let the cane clatter to the floor, as Lacey shimmied out of her jeans and straddled his legs. She wasn’t wearing any underwear.

Any worries he might have had, that little voice of reason that told him they should talk first, ran away the moment Lacey cupped him through his trousers. He groaned and she smirked, pleased with herself as she palmed his cock.

“Do you want this to last?” he asked, straining to keep still.

She bit her lip, and Gold would have thought it was out of innocence or nerves if he didn’t know any better. He didn’t think Lacey ever felt nervous. She was too bold and brave. Biting her lips just meant that she was on the verge of laughing, and trying not to.

Gold was much better at holding back his smiles.

He levelled her with a look of warning, one that told her she wasn’t the only one who could tease, and slipped his hands underneath her legs. Before she could push herself away, Gold flipped her onto the bed, using his good leg to support all of their weight, and leaned over her. Her laugh escaped her in a gasp of surprise, and he lowered himself to her chest.

Lacey was dotted with tattoos, most of them hidden where no one would see. He didn’t know what bit of luck had fallen his way that he had been allowed to see them, but he’d tried his best to hang on to it. He kissed the delicate rose between her breasts, and the dagger on her ribs. She breathed hard, twisting her fingers painfully into his hair. The dagger pointed towards her stomach, and he followed it with his lips, over the gentle curve of her belly.

She pulled him away then, tugging on his hair, and guided him back up into a kiss. He lay on his side next to her, reaching down between them as she nipped at his lips. It was a slightly deeper, more urgent kiss than the others had been. She cupped his face, slipped her tongue past the seam of his lips, and he almost lost his senses entirely.

“Lacey,” he tried to say, pulling back just enough to get the sound out between she pulled him back to her mouth.

He pressed his fingers against her mound, and she hummed into the kiss, letting her legs fall apart. Gold kissed her back. He kissed her lips, and her cheek, and her jaw. Lacey tipped her head back to let his kisses trail lower. And then he slipped a finger into her slick folds. She was so wet, he almost wanted to stop kissing her just to give himself a moment to take her in.

It hadn’t really crossed his mind until that moment that Lacey wanted him just as much as he wanted her. She wasn’t doing it to have a good time, or to blow off some steam. She was doing it because she _wanted_ him, even after they’d pulled away from one another.

Leaning back, Gold looked at her face as he teased his finger up and down her folds, around her clit, before finally slipping it in. Her lips, covered with a smeared and faded red lipstick, were parted just enough to release her tiny gasps and mewls. Her cheeks were flushed almost as red as what remained of her lipstick, and her eyes had fallen shut to capture a look of pure bliss.

Gold smiled despite his earlier concerns, and dipped down to kiss her cheek as he slipped in a second finger, and then a third.

Lacey turned her head into his, moaning in his ear. He wasn’t sure if she was speaking, but a part of him thought she might have been trying to say his name.

“I’ve missed touching you, Lacey,” he crooned in her ear. She nodded quickly, canting her hips up into his palm as he continued to finger her with a slow, deliberate hand.

“Do you want more?” Gold asked. She nodded again and he leaned back. “Look at me.”

Her eyes fluttered open, full of need and trust. It made his heart ache.

“Don’t tease me,” she said, covering his hand with hers. “I need more.”

Pressing against the back of his hand, she slipped his fingers in a little deeper, and he curled them. She gasped, unable to keep her eyes open, so he did it again, and again; curling and uncurling his fingers in and out of her. The base of his fingers rubbed at her clit and she threw her head back.

“ _Fuck_ \-- Alastair!”

“Yes,” he answered, kissing along her hairline. “That’s it. Let me hear you.”

Her breaths came shorter and quicker, laced with whines and gasps, and he felt her body going taught.

“Alastair...”

Her muscles tightened around his fingers, just as she reached the brink of her orgasm. Gold watched her fall over the edge; her back arched, and she let out a moan that he would never grow tired of hearing.

He kept his hand where it was, his fingers still moving inside of her, until she relaxed against him. She suddenly felt small in his arms, and he resisted the urge to touch her stomach as he pulled her to his chest. Lacey wasn’t ready for that, but she was still going to be the mother of his child, and he held her with all the care and attention she deserved. She breathed heavily, panting to regain her breath, and almost looked like she was falling asleep as he stroked his hand up her hip and waist.

Absently, Gold heard a dull tapping coming from somewhere in the shop. He buried his face in Lacey’s hair, but the tapping grew louder and turned into rattling.

“ _Dad?_ ”

They both stilled.

Neal knocked at the shop’s front door and they couldn’t pull apart fast enough.

“Shit,” Lacey muttered, searching for her bra.

Gold grabbed his crumpled shirt and tie from the floor. It was like a veil had fallen over them, and Neal's appearance had ripped it away, exposing them to the harsh reality of what they'd just done. He sat on the bed, fastening his shirt buttons, while Lacey hurriedly dressed herself. Her hair was a mess, and he wondered how bad his own looked. If Neal saw them, then there would be absolutely no doubt what they’d just been doing. What they’d been about to do.

He reached for his cane and pulled himself to his feet. 

“Go out the back door,” he said.

Lacey’s face changed. The hopeful, blissful look in her eyes shuttered, and he could see the moment she closed off.

“What?”

“He won’t see you,” he promised, adjusting his hold on his cane and trying to ignore the lingering ache in his cock. Maybe Neal wouldn’t notice. “I’ll let him in through the front.”

“You… don’t want him to know?”

Gold frowned and gestured between them. “Not like _this_.”

“Right.” Nodding, Lacey shrugged on his jacket and ran her fingers through her hair. “I’ll go then.”

Her clipped, suddenly cold tone wasn’t lost on him, but Gold had no time to dwell on it or ask her what was wrong. Neal knocked again and tried his keys in the lock. It wouldn’t work, he knew, Lacey had flipped the deadbolt, but that didn’t stop his heart from hammering away at the thought of being caught.

Lacey unlocked the back door, and he gripped his cane. She was unhappy with him, but he had to let her go. He couldn’t tell Neal like this.

“I’ll call tomorrow,” he offered.

“Yeah. Sure.”

She slipped out into the night without a backward glance.


	5. Heartbreaker

She blamed her hormones. That was the only explanation she had for what had happened between her and Gold.

Lacey tried not to think about the other things, the emotions that had gone into it. She felt foolish for ever thinking that she and Gold could really have something; something that didn't involve hiding in the back room of his shop, or her sneaking in and out of his bedroom.

For one moment, once Neal knew his father had been seeing someone, she'd stupidly thought that Gold would be prepared to tell him who that someone was. His last words to her in his shop had dispelled her of that foolish notion. He obviously didn’t want to tell his son that he had another child on the way. He was probably embarrassed she would be its mother.

 _Idiot_ , Lacey repeated to herself, unsure whether she meant herself or Gold.

She didn't want to admit the real reason she'd fallen into old habits with him. So she blamed hormones.

Lacey paced the small sitting room in her flat, almost a month after her mistake in the back of Gold’s shop. She’d done a good job of avoiding him where she could. They still saw one another around town, but he couldn’t approach her without risking raising some sort of suspicion. Especially when she was starting to show, to the point where her loose-fitting shirts and leather jackets just couldn’t cover it.

The small bump, obvious in almost anything she wore, had confirmed a lot of the town’s suspicions. She’d missed the last two days of work because she couldn’t handle the looks of sympathy or disgust from the diner’s customers. Even Granny, while mostly sympathetic, had raised an eyebrow when she’d refused to talk about her state or the father.

While she found it easy to avoid most people, Lacey hadn’t been able to avoid Ruby.

She paced the length of her sitting room and flopped back onto her bed. She put the phone back to her ear, and Ruby was still talking about Lacey missing work again.

Eventually, the topic inevitably turned to why she was missing work. She was sure a lot of people were trying to guess who’d knocked her up, but Lacey wasn’t giving anything away and neither was Gold.

“When… _it_ happened,” Ruby said carefully. Lacey put her hand to her bump. “You were staying at Neal’s place.”

She sat up, twisting her fingers in her shirt. Of course Ruby had tried to figure it out. And if Ruby had figured it out, then Granny, August and Neal would be able to as well.

“I guess so,” she said lightly. “I don’t really remember.”

There was a pause, and Lacey could just imagine the things Ruby was trying to calculate now.

“Is it Neal’s?”

Lacey almost choked on her intake of breath.

“What? _No_!”

Ruby puffed out a breath. Plates clattered in the background, and Lacey wondered with a pang of guilt just how busy the diner was.

She gripped the phone tighter.

“What makes you think it happened at Gold’s place?” she asked, trying to laugh.

“Did it?”

Lacey didn’t answer. She was trying so hard not to lie, but the truth was difficult. If Ruby could calculate where it happened, then it wouldn’t be long before she guessed who it happened with.

“What if Neal’s dad was there?” Ruby continued. Lacey didn’t need to see her face to know that the thought disgusted her. She could hear it in Ruby’s voice.

 _Of course Neal’s dad was there_ , she thought.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Lacey put her feet up onto the bed.

“Lacey?”

She shook her head, blinking back the sting in her eyes, before she could bring herself to say something.

“I have to go.”

Cutting off Ruby’s protest, she hung up and threw the phone on her pillows.

She’d taken time off work to avoid those exact questions. One day, likely after the baby was born, she might have to admit who the father was. Neal would have to know at some point. But she wanted to pretend for just a little longer that it was so far off in the future she didn’t need to worry about it.

No one would know. No one could guess.

The baby could be born with rich, dark eyes with specks of amber when the light hit them, that didn’t mean Gold was the father. It could have soft, light brown hair. That wouldn’t mean it was Gold’s child.

Lacey scoffed and sat up.

 _Idiot_.

She shuffled to the kitchenette, ignoring the light fluttering in her stomach, and grabbed the final doughnut from her last order at Granny’s. She’d have to go back eventually, if only to order another box of doughnuts.

Rubbing her poor back and eating her last doughnut, Lacey returned to her bed. It wasn’t too bad spending her time alone. She needed a drink, she wanted to ride her bike, and she wanted to take her frustration out on Gold, but there was plenty in her apartment to distract her from that. She could watch TV, or listen to music, finish her one doughnut, or… read?

Flopping down on her bed, she took the final bite of her doughnut and licked the dust from her fingers.

She could have done all of those things, but what she really wanted was to rest. Which she would have done, if only someone hadn’t chosen that moment to knock at her door.

Groaning, Lacey pushed herself up and slipped on her dressing gown. The knocking came again.

“I’m coming!” she shouted, tying the gown loosely around her waist.

Throwing open the door, Lacey frowned. A man stood in front of her, taller than anyone she knew, with a box that came up to his waist. She’d seen him a few times around town, running errands for Gold. Her frown deepened, but he said nothing. He just picked the box up and stepped forward.

Lacey held up her hand to stop him, gripping the door a little tighter. “Can I help you?”

“Miss French,” he asked, deep and straight to the point.

She scrunched up her nose. “Yeah?”

“Package for you.”

Dove walked in without an invitation, carrying the large box like it weighed nothing, and carefully set it down in the middle of her living space. Lacey edged towards him, keeping the door wide open. He straightened up and dusted his hands off on his long coat.

“Yeah, I didn’t order anything,” she said, hinting that he should take his box and leave. He didn’t. He barely spared her a glance as he walked back to the apartment door.

“Just doing my job,” he said on his way out. “He said to bring it here.”

“Who said?” she started to ask, but he was already halfway down the stairs when she followed him out the door. Typical of anyone Gold would choose to hire; efficient and emotionless. He did as he was told and left, on to whatever Gold wanted him to do next.

Slamming the door, Lacey locked it with as loud a click as possible, and turned to the unwanted box in the middle of her room.

She grabbed a pair of scissors from a kitchen drawer and approached it slowly. It was white, with no writing or images on the side, only a red arrow pointing to the top. Lacey liked that almost as little as she liked receiving the box itself. It meant that she didn’t know what was inside unless she opened it.

Digging her knife into the packing tape, Lacey slashed it open and lifted the lid. Another box sat on the top, with Granny’s logo and the sweet smell of doughnuts coming from it.

Her stomach fluttered, but she ignored it and set the doughnut box aside. Beneath was another box, with a picture of a smiling baby lying in a… Lacey nearly dropped her scissors. She didn’t want this. A note lay flat on top of it, covering half of the baby’s body, with her name written in Gold’s neat script. She scrunched it up and threw it on the floor.

She didn’t want this. She didn’t want that constant reminder staring at her for the next five months and beyond; telling her what she already knew. She had to get rid of it. She wasn’t ready.

She grabbed her phone, her heart hammering and hands shaking as she found his number.

It rang twice before his deep voice made her hands tremble harder. She clenched them into fists.

“Send your man back up to collect this box.”

She glanced at the box accusingly, and the little baby in the bassinet stared back at her, smiling happily. She turned her back on it. It was too early to be thinking about bassinets. 

She heard the tapping of his cane over the phone.

“I’m not going to do that,” Gold said plainly, as if he’d been expecting her call. That made things worse. It meant that he knew how it would make her feel, and he had sent the bassinet anyway.

“Why not? You can’t just--... Just send something like this.” She threw her hand towards the box. “I don’t need your help. I don’t want your money.”

Gold sighed patiently, and a chair scraped across the floor in the background.

“You can’t run forever, Lacey.” He said it too calmly and reasonably for her liking, and she snorted as he continued. “It’s okay to let people in.”

“Says you,” she threw back. “Come and take this fucking box.”

He didn’t answer. She heard him moving around, and another sigh, and she stopped pacing.

“I mean it, Gold,” Lacey continued. “I don’t want this thing in my apartment.”

“Have you read the note?” he asked, ignoring everything else.

“I don’t _care_ what--”

“Please.”

If nothing else, _that_ gave her pause. Gold never begged for anything. ‘Please’ wasn’t a word she’d ever heard him utter.

She was stalling.

The note was screwed into a tight ball at her feet, and Lacey picked it up with clammy hands. She hated that he could still do that to her. Distancing herself from him hadn’t helped at all.

Unfolding the paper, Lacey opened the note and stilled. In the centre of the page, in that same frustratingly neat writing, was a simple line.

_I’m ready when you are._

She placed it back on top of the bassinet box and smoothed it out with her fingers.

“Lacey?”

“This Thursday,” she found herself saying. “Meet me here at noon.”

Hanging up before he could respond, Lacey threw her phone onto the bed and tried shoving the box to one side. It was even heavier than she’d expected, but she pushed her hip against it and slid it across the wooden floor. There wasn’t much space in her little studio apartment. The only spot she could hide it was up the corner beside her bookcase, where she could hopefully forget about it for a while.

She could regret inviting Gold over later.

She moved the box of doughnuts to the coffee table and sat down. Ignoring everything else would be easy enough, but ignoring that sweet smell would be impossible. Maybe she could finally go back to her original plan of wasting away the afternoon watching TV, or listening to music. She still couldn’t decide, and it seemed she wouldn’t get a chance to. Someone knocked at her door, again, and interrupted her plans, again.

Lacey rolled her head back with a groan and stood up. Couldn’t she be left alone for five minutes to ignore the world in peace?

She threw open the door, about to give Dove or Gold a piece of her mind, and came up short when she was met with a very different face.

“Lunch time!” Ruby greeted, holding up a plastic container and cup. Ice sloshed around inside as Ruby walked past her, and Lacey didn’t need to ask what was in it. “Granny gave me 10 minutes to-- Are you okay?”

Lacey kicked the door shut with her heel and shrugged.

“I’m just a little tired,” she promised, laughing off Ruby’s concern. “Must be the whole... you know.”

Ruby’s eyes dropped to her stomach and Lacey quickly hurried around her. She took the container and put it on the kitchen counter. The smell coming from it was unmistakably Granny’s lasagne. It made her stomach rumble, and sink at the thought of all the times Gold had complained about that lasagne. She pushed the box aside. She didn’t want to think about him anymore.

Ruby set the cup of iced tea beside her, and left to take a seat on the sofa. She flopped back with a happy sigh and put her feet on the coffee table.

“Busy morning?” Lacey asked with a smile that barely hid her guilt. She should have been there helping Ruby, not hiding in her apartment from the rest of the town.

“How’d you know?” Ruby laughed, just as her foot kicked something on the table. She frowned, and Lacey’s heart dropped when she realised what Ruby was looking at.

She should have hidden the doughnuts along with the bassinet.

“Gold came in earlier and ordered a box,” Ruby said carefully.

“Oh.” She huffed a laugh which both of them had to know was fake, and leaned back against the counter. “Never had him down as a doughnut kinda guy.”

Ruby gave her a look, and Lacey did her best to keep smiling.

“Where did you get these, Lace?” she asked.

There was no good answer. Ruby knew she hadn’t been in for days, and the only other people likely to buy her a whole box were Neal or August. Ruby would have known if that was the case.

Which left only one person, and Ruby wasn’t about to drop it, no matter how much Lacey wished she would.

“Gold bought them, didn’t he?” she continued. Her tone was calm, neutral, but Lacey could see the gears turning in her mind. Everything was clicking into place, and Lacey held her breath as she waited for the realisation to hit.

“You were in Gold’s house,” Ruby remembered, standing up.

Lacey swallowed thickly and nodded. She couldn’t bring herself to speak.

“Oh, Lacey.”

She frowned as Ruby wrapped her in a hug. She’d expected disgust, or confusion at the very least, not sympathy.

“It’s… It’s fine,” Lacey said, and she realised that it was. It was fine that Gold was the father. The problem was never really him, it was her own fears. What would happen when Neal and her other friends found out? What would happen when the rest of Storybrooke found out? What would happen when Gold finally grew bored of her and left?

But he hadn’t, had he? He hadn’t cut her off. He hadn’t tried to avoid her. Her eyes drifted to the bassinet box hidden up the corner, and the box of doughnuts that had given her away.

Everything would be fine. She was ready.

“Are you sure?” Ruby asked, rubbing her shoulders as she released her. “You know… I mean, it’s _Gold_.”

Lacey smiled, slow and tremulous, and nodded. “I know.”

Ruby squeezed her arm and smiled back.

“Does Neal know?” she asked gently, in a way that hinted she already knew the answer. Lacey only had to shake her head to confirm Ruby’s suspicion.

“You have to tell him, Lace. He can’t find out through anyone else.”

“Yeah.”

“I have to get back,” Ruby sighed. “But I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah.” Lacey nodded and let Ruby pull her into a hug. “See you later.”


	6. I Hate Myself for Loving You

The May sun was bright and hot, and did nothing to make her ride with Gold more comfortable.

The Cadillac was stifling. She should have known not to wear a skirt. Her bare legs stuck to the leather seats, but it was too hot to wear anything longer. She’d even had to give up the safety of her leather jacket. A baggy Van Halen T-shirt could only do so much to hide the growing curve of her stomach, and she’d seen Gold’s face when she’d answered her apartment door. The shirt didn’t hide it enough to stop him from staring at her.

Shifting uncomfortably in her seat, Lacey fanned her face with her hands and Gold glanced her way. She frowned, looking at him with his immaculate suit and not a single, greying hair out of place. She’d had to pull her hair up off her neck into a messy bun, and it had already started to fall loose around her ears.

“How can you still wear that?” she asked as if she was accusing him of something terrible.

To her disappointment, he kept his eyes on the road. “I’m used to it.”

“No one can wear a suit in this heat.”

“Do Australians never wear suits?”

Lacey pressed her lips together, scowling at him from her seat and wishing he would look at her again. Even if she was a hot, sweaty mess.

Eventually, knowing he wouldn’t give her what she wanted, she looked away from him and pressed her hands to her cheeks. They were flushed hot and probably looked red and splotchy. Her whole face was burning up.

“It’s like a sauna in here,” she grumbled to herself, reaching to roll down her window. His stupid Cadillac’s air conditioning only blew warm air, and in that moment she hated him for it.

They came to a stop at a T-junction, and Lacey jumped when she felt his cool palm press against her forehead.

Gold frowned.

“I don’t think it’s the sun that’s making you hot,” he said gently, hooking his finger under her chin to turn her head towards him.

Huffing out a laugh, one that sounded too nervous for her liking, Lacey lifted her chin from his hand.

“Well it can’t be anything else,” she argued.

Gold flattened his lips, searching her face. When he found nothing but her chin lifted in defiance, daring him to mention her current state, he sighed and continued driving.

The rest of the drive was taken in silence. Even as they entered the clinic, and Lacey dragged her feet behind him and his cane, neither of them said a word.

She soon found herself in a waiting room with working air conditioning, and slumped back in her seat with a relieved sigh. Gold sat beside her, on the edge of his seat with his back straight and the point of his cane planted into the ground between his feet. He looked anything but relieved, or comfortable or relaxed.

Around them, in the brightly painted seating area, other couples sat together. They talked and kept an eye on their children, who loudly played with the toys provided in the centre of the room. It was a small space, too small for Lacey to really feel comfortable, and that meant that every word of every game and conversation was easy to hear. The couples were happy, and so were the children.

Lacey glanced furtively at Gold, who cast a much cooler, more calculating eye over everyone. His guarded face didn’t soften until his eyes fell on the children. She rubbed her stomach.

“I hate this place,” she whispered, and he turned to her with a questioning frown. “Look at them. These happy couples with their happy kids,” Lacey added, wrinkling her nose. “I shouldn’t be here.”

“Lacey...” Gold twisted in his seat, putting his back to the rest of the room. “You said you were ready.”

She crossed her arms and slipped down in the chair. She couldn’t look at him, it was easier to look at the wall opposite rather than his concerned face, but she saw him move out of the corner of her eye. His hand rested on her leg and she froze. Her skirt stopped his skin from touching hers, but she could still feel Gold’s warmth. It had been a little over a month since that same hand had been buried between her legs, and she couldn’t stop her mind from jumping right back to that moment. Her skin tingled from more than just her hot flush, and Gold’s thumb brushed over her skirt.

“Lacey?” he whispered.

She pulled her leg away.

“I said a lot of things.”

He was quiet for a moment, but his silence was filled by the happy squealing of children. Lacey looked across, passed Gold. People were staring at them. They turned away quickly, returning to their quiet chatter, but she knew they were watching her with Gold. Storybrooke wasn’t such a small town that everyone knew everyone, but it was small enough for gossip to quickly spread to someone who did know you. She should have told Neal.

Lacey bit her lip, and caught the eye of a little girl. She smiled at Lacey, revealing a big gap where her two front teeth had fallen out, and Lacey couldn’t help but smile back.

When she finally looked at Gold, to see what he was doing, she found him smiling at her.

She frowned. “What?”

“Nothing.”

Rolling her eyes, Lacey shifted uneasily in her seat and waited. The first couple to be called were the parents of the little girl, who waved at Lacey as she walked by, her other hand held firmly in her dad’s.

She looked at Gold again, but he wasn’t watching her this time. He still hadn’t settled back in his seat. He hadn’t settled at all. She wondered if he’d been just as restless when he’d attended scans for Neal. He was probably thinking about Neal now. Neither of them had told him yet.

“Lacey French?”

A nurse appeared through one of the private rooms.

Lacey’s heart beat a little faster as Gold stood up, and all eyes turned on them. It was possible that nobody knew her, or recognised her name, but it was unlikely that no one knew the man beside her.

He offered her his hand, ignoring everyone else.

“Ready?” he asked.

She found herself nodding before she could rethink what they were about to do, and took his hand. They walked side-by-side, and the nurse’s big smile didn’t give away whether or not she knew Lacey, or Gold. She seemed to be genuine.

“Is this the father?” she asked.

Lacey met Gold’s eye, but it was clear that he expected her to answer. She swallowed and nodded.

“Yeah,” she said. “This is him.”

* * *

The ultrasound hadn’t left her hand since the moment she’d been given the photo.

She stared at it on the car ride home, tracing her finger over the clear profile of a baby. The rest of the scan was a bit of a blur, nothing more than an indistinguishable blob, but the face was clear with it’s little nose and lips.

Neither of them had wanted to know the sex when the nurse had offered to tell them, but Lacey suspected Gold had only followed her lead. He hadn’t said much throughout the whole scan. He’d only nodded at the right moments, silently looking between her and the screen in front of them. His expression was unreadable, and he’d released her hand the moment Lacey had lain back and lifted her shirt.

He looked at nothing but the road now that he was driving her home. His own copy of the ultrasound was tucked safely away in his breast pocket. He hadn’t looked at it at all, and Lacey couldn’t understand it. How could he be so calm, so quiet, about something like this? The scan made it real. The picture of their baby’s face made it real, and he didn’t want to look at it.

When the Cadillac pulled up outside her apartment building, Lacey wasn’t ready to leave him. They should talk. As much as she needed space and time to process what had happened between them, and what was still happening, there were a few things that could only be processed together.

Unbuckling her seat belt, Lacey put the ultrasound on the dash and lifted her legs up onto the seat. He didn't seem happy about her kneeling on the leather seat in her boots, but he didn’t say anything. As usual.

“Alice,” she teased, trying to lighten the heavy mood that had settled in the car. His eyes snapped up from her legs to her face. He wasn’t amused, and Lacey pouted, leaning forward to fix his tie.

“Alastair,” she corrected.

A flicker of a smile tugged at his lips, and Lacey leaned in to kiss him. Gold returned it without question, curling his hand behind her neck to pull her closer. She put her hands on his thigh to support herself, and slid her hand up his leg. He groaned.

Her stomach flipped pleasantly, but she made herself pull away. Her lipstick, a deep red, had smudged across his lips. Lacey smirked.

“What’re you thinking?” she purred in his ear, playing with the button on his waistcoat.

Gold took a deep breath, and another, before he answered. He was trying to calm himself, she realised. She could almost hear him trying to count to ten in his head. Smirking to herself, she dropped her hand and cupped him through his trousers. He wasn’t hard yet, but she could change that.

His breathing hitched, and Lacey nipped at his earlobe.

“What’re you thinking?” she asked again.

Gold licked his lips, struggling to keep control, and grasped her wrist.

“I don’t think this will give you what you want,” he said.

She pulled her hand free and sat back, frowning.

“How do _you_ know what I want?”

Gold sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Lacey, I don’t think even you know what you want anymore.”

She stared at him, and he stared back for a moment, before something else caught his eye. He reached for the ultrasound and handed it back to her, still without looking at the image himself.

“Why won’t you look at it?” The words left her before she could stop them, and once they’d left her, more came tumbling out. “Did you even look at the first one I gave you, or was that a waste of time, too?”

Gold’s eyes widened for just a second, before his cool indifference returned and he took his hand away, leaving the ultrasound in her lap. Lacey picked it up and slid it under the strap of her bra.

“Fine,” she continued. “ _Fine_. At least now I know that you really don’t care.”

“Lacey--”

She reached for the door but his hand stopped her, gripping her just tight enough to stop her from pulling away.

“I can’t,” he said. “Not in front of you.”

Confused, she dropped back into her seat and looked at him. “What’re you talking about?”

“I’ll look at it when I’m alone. I look at the other when I’m alone.”

Her heart sank. “Why?”

Taking a deep breath, Gold cupped her cheeks and tilted her head towards him. She let him, just to see what he wanted to do, and felt her lip tremble when he tenderly kissed her forehead. He breathed her in and Lacey leaned towards him.

“Goodbye, Lacey,” he said softly.

Swallowing thickly, Lacey pulled away and searched his face. She knew when she was being dismissed, and she wouldn’t get any more out of him than that. There was no point in pushing him when he’d already closed himself off.

“Yeah,” she muttered, opening the passenger door. “Bye.”

Her legs couldn’t move fast enough to get her out of them. She slammed the door shut without a backwards glance. The rough treatment of his car would annoy him, but she couldn’t find it in her to care. She hurried away on unsteady legs, into the shared garage of her apartment building. Her bike sat in the far corner, shining black and welcoming. She ran her hands over the handle and picked up her helmet.

There was nowhere else she needed to be. It would have been easy for her to hide away in her apartment again for the rest of the day, but the need to _move_ itched at the back of her mind. She needed to keep moving. She needed to shake away her restlessness and the feeling of being trapped.

Slipping on the helmet, she swung her leg over the seat and took the key from her bra. She wasn’t dressed for riding, but she didn’t care.

“Is it true?” a man asked beside her. His voice was muffled by her helmet, but it still managed to make her jump.

She looked to the side and breathed a sigh of relief. It was only Neal.

“You scared me,” she laughed. “Is what true?”

Neal didn’t laugh. His face was turned down into a determined frown, and her nerves began to creep back in.

“It’s impossible to keep a secret in this town,” he said, as if she needed to be reminded after the few months she’d had, and waved his hand towards the road. “And it’s not like you’re doing a good job of hiding it.”

Her stomach dropped. “Hiding what?”

“You and... ” He laughed then, but it was humourless and he shook his head, turning away from her. “You went to the clinic with my dad.”

Lacey pulled off her helmet and set it in her lap. “I did.”

Neal turned his head sharply, looking at her. He clearly hadn’t expected her to be so honest. It should have hurt, but then she hadn’t been honest with him for some time now. She couldn’t blame him for not trusting her.

“Why did he go with you?” he asked.

Lacey shrugged.

“No, no. Don’t just shrug it off like it’s… like it’s nothing. Tell me _why_. Why did he go with you?”

Her eyes burned, but she wouldn’t let herself cry. She shrugged again and looked at her bike.

“You know why,” she answered.

Neal was quiet for several long, drawn out moments. She saw him moving out of the corner of her eye, holding his hands up to his mouth. He almost looked as if he was contemplating leaving, and a part of her wanted him to. But something told Lacey that if he left now, he would leave for good.

“You and my dad,” he said at last. “My fucking _dad_ , Lacey. What is wrong with you? He’s old enough to be _your_ dad.”

“He’s younger than my dad,” she reasoned. It wouldn’t make any difference. It was a stupid point to make and didn’t take away from the reality of what she’d done, but she had to say something.

Neal scoffed and started pacing.

“Why did you do it?” he asked. “Was it the money?”

She wiped the back of her hand across her eyes. “How could you think that?”

“Well what am I supposed to think?” he asked, raising his voice and rounding on her. “You think I’m gonna believe you fell madly in love? Or you--… I don’t know. You saw him and couldn’t help yourself?”

Lacey wanted to laugh, but it came out as a sob. He was mocking her, he had to be. He couldn’t see why she would like Gold outside of him being ridiculously wealthy, and he definitely wouldn’t see why his dad might like her. Lacey herself couldn’t understand why Gold had liked her.

She knew the answer, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. So she slipped on her helmet and started her bike.

“Where are you going?” Neal demanded, but his voice was cut off by the roar of the engine. 

Without looking at him, Lacey kicked down her foot and rode out of the garage. Neal wasn’t like his dad. He couldn’t do calm and collected. He shouted after her, but there were only three words her mind could focus on as she drove away.

_I love him._


	7. Hell is Living Without You

He would never normally step foot in the Rabbit Hole unless it was to collect rent, but nothing about the last month had been normal. His son had moved out under the guise of wanting to live with his new girlfriend, but Gold knew better. Neal wouldn’t talk to him. His move had nothing to do with his budding romance with Emma, and everything to do with his own relationship with Lacey.

Gold downed his last drop of awful whisky and flagged the bartender for a refill.

“Same again?” the man asked, eyeing him warily.

“What do you think?” he shot back, sliding his glass across the bar. “I’m not here for the company.”

The bar was packed. He always dreaded when rent day fell on a Friday, because he was guaranteed to have to weave his way through the crowd just to reach the damn bar. That Friday night was no different, but at least the loud chatter and laughter meant that he didn’t have to hear that terrible music coming from the jukebox. It was Lacey’s taste in music, not his, and he didn’t want to think about her right now. His latest session with Dr. Hopper had let him know loud and clear how badly he’d fucked up with Lacey. Just like he’d fucked up with his son.

The bartender refilled his glass and Gold snatched it up. He shouldn’t have been drinking. A part of his effort to be a better man, for himself, his son and Lacey, and for their future child, had been to cut back on how much he drank when he was stressed.

He took a sip, ignoring his own rule, and looked over the rest of the bar. Neal was with his friends in one of the window booths, on the other side of the pool tables. He didn’t think they’d spotted him yet. They talked and laughed and drank, and occasionally the Lucas girl would check her phone. It tugged at his heart to see his son so carefree and happy, spending time with his girlfriend and friends. Moving on. Lacey would usually be with them, but it seemed that Neal had taken to ignoring her as much as he ignored Gold.

Clenching his jaw, Gold turned back to the bar and closed his eyes. He should leave. He should go back to his quiet house, without his son and without Lacey, and drink alone. But Hopper had told him to stop shutting himself off, and short of plucking up the courage to call Lacey and ask to see her, drinking alone in a busy bar was the best he could do.

Gold counted to ten in his head and set his glass down. Hopper couldn’t say he hadn’t tried, but no amount of hanging around a bar would make people suddenly feel compelled to talk to their landlord. Despite Neal not seeing him, Gold was well aware of other people staring at him.

He grabbed his cane as he stood, hoping to make a clean getaway, before someone else caught his eye. His heart jumped. Neal wasn’t the only one who hadn’t seen him yet. Lacey was there, standing at her friend’s booth. Miss Lucas and her girlfriend seemed to be the happiest to see her. They greeted Lacey with a hug, and so did that idiot Booth, but Neal didn’t move. He stared at his drink as the others greeted her. Even Emma gave Lacey a wave.

It was definitely time for him to leave. The last thing Lacey needed was him reminding everyone what had happened. It was his fault, not hers. She shouldn’t have to lose her friends because of him.

Standing, Gold straightened his back and the front of his suit, and headed for the door. People were quick to get out of his way, and he didn’t immediately see that he wasn’t the only one leaving until they both reached the door. Lacey bumped into his shoulder, lost in her own head, and she looked up at him with such wide-eyed surprise that Gold couldn’t help but smile. He dropped the hand that had been reaching for the door and rested it over the other on his cane.

“Lacey.”

She narrowed her eyes and glanced around the bar. “Did you follow me?”

“I’ve been here a while,” he assured her, gripping the handle of his cane.

Lacey couldn’t have thought highly of him to think he would stoop to the levels of stalking, and why would she think anything of him at all? He’d rejected her and left her after her ultrasound, and he hadn’t tried to call her after Neal had found out. Even when Neal was packing together his things, Gold had hidden away in his shop and let it all happen.

Of course she didn’t think anything of him.

“Right,” Lacey said, seeming to deflate. Her shoulders sank and her head dropped. It wasn’t like Lacey, and when he glanced at Neal’s booth, he saw that Ruby Lucas seemed to think the same thing. Dorothy and she watched them, and Ruby gave him a worried smile.

“Stay,” Gold said, turning his attention back to Lacey. “Let me buy you a drink.”

She looked up and lifted an eyebrow. “I can’t drink.”

“I’m sure not every drink they serve is alcoholic.”

She stared at him, weighing him up. For a moment, Gold thought he’d miscalculated and that she’d leave, with all of the Rabbit Hole watching her rejection. But then she snorted, smirked, and walked around him to the bar.

Smiling, Gold fixed his tie and followed her.

“Neal won’t like this,” she said, taking his original seat. He sat beside her and propped his cane against the bar.

“Neal just needs to get used to the idea,” he reasoned.

Lacey didn’t look convinced. That, or she didn’t think he was serious. She rolled her eyes and glanced towards her friends. Gold didn’t dare look now that he was sitting with her. They were bound to have spotted him the moment he stopped Lacey from leaving. _Neal_ would have spotted him.

Ignoring the uncomfortable lump in the back of his throat, Gold called for the bartender to bring them two orange juices. Even that made Lacey raise an eyebrow at him.

“You can’t really believe that,” she said. “Neal’s as stubborn as you are. He won’t just… _get used_ to it. We lied to him.”

Gold sighed. The Rabbit Hole wasn’t the place to have that sort of conversation, but he couldn’t very well ignore Lacey’s concerns. They were his concerns, too. Hopper had told him to talk to her, but now that she was actually there and willing to listen, Gold couldn’t think of anything to talk about that didn’t require a stronger, richer drink of whisky in a much more private setting.

She watched him expectantly, and Gold nodded, relenting.

“You’re right.”

He couldn’t tell if she was pleased with that answer or not. She pressed her lips together and accepted her drink from the bartender. Gold took his own glass, but his eyes stayed on Lacey. 

“I wish it was something stronger,” she admitted.

“As do I,” he said, saluting her with his own glass.

Lacey scoffed and pointed an accusing finger at him. “Nothing’s stopping _you_ from drinking.”

“I can’t drink in front of you, that wouldn’t be fair.”

“Why not?” She waved her hand to the rest of the bar, sloshing her orange juice around in her glass. “Everyone else is.”

It took him a moment to realise she was teasing him. She twisted her lips, in that way she always did when she was trying not to smile or laugh, and Gold huffed a laugh of his own.

“I’ll stick to this. The whisky here leaves a lot to be desired.”

Humming, Lacey finally took a sip of her drink and turned in her seat to face him. She still wore her leather jacket, despite it being spring now. It didn’t quite manage to hide her stomach anymore, and her baggiest of t-shirts still stretched over the small bump whenever she turned in just the right way. Gold couldn’t help but look, and she must have noticed. She pulled the jacket tighter around herself and looked back down at her glass.

“Why come here at all if you don’t like the whisky?”

“It’s rent day.” The lie came too easily, and they both knew it.

She threw him a look, one that let him know just how unimpressed she was with his answer.

“Not for another two weeks,” she said coolly.

Gold shook his head. Lying or omitting the truth had got him to where he was. His son wouldn’t speak to him, and he’d received only a handful of words from Lacey in the last month. It was passed time for the truth.

“Hopper said I should get out more,” he said with an easy shrug of his shoulder. As if admitting how he spent his Friday afternoons was nothing.

Lacey frowned. “Dr. Hopper? I didn’t know you were friends.”

“We’re not.”

Her face softened, but it was her eyes that gave away her dawning realisation. They changed, from their sharp, all-seeing look, to something unsure and tender.

“Oh.”

“Indeed,” he agreed.

Silence lapsed between them. Gold didn’t know if her reaction had been a good one or not. Lacey being lost for words wasn’t a common occurrence, and he quickly found that he wasn’t sure how to react to a quiet Lacey.

He looked up to find her worrying at her bottom lip and watching something over his shoulder. It wasn’t him she wanted to be there with. It was her friends, people her own age, not the old idiot who’d just admitted to being in therapy.

Gold clenched his jaw.

“I’ll leave you to your drink,” he said. “You should go to your friends.”

He reached for his cane, but Lacey firmly grasped his wrist and shook her head.

“We both know I can’t do that,” she reasoned, and didn’t relent until she felt him relax. Then she released his wrist and snatched up her drink to down what was left. “And I don’t want to be with them right now. Neal’s got Emma. Dorothy and Ruby are moving in together. I’m just...”

Gold leaned towards her. “What?”

Smiling drily, Lacey saluted her empty glass to him and set it down. “Nothing. Maybe I can sit with them after Neal _gets used_ to us,” she parroted.

He snorted before what she’d really said hit him. _Us_. It didn’t sound like something of the past when she said it like that. Neal needed to get used to _us_ ; not the thought of them in the past, but the firm reality that there was an _us_ between his dad and best friends.

Wishing that there was more than just orange juice in his glass, Gold took a drink to wet his suddenly dry mouth, and felt Lacey slip her hand over his.

“Do you want to get out of here?” she asked.

“What for?”

She smiled and squeezed his hand. “Use your imagination.”

Their eyes met, and that look mixed with her inviting smile held him in place. If Lacey was brave enough to ask him that, in a bar of people that included her friends, then he should have the courage to tell her that he wanted nothing more than to leave with her. It was hard to shake the feeling that he was a terrible man for keeping the truth from Neal, but Lacey made it a little bit easier for him to accept that maybe that wasn’t entirely true. Neither of them had set out to hurt Neal, and Gold was only hurting himself by avoiding Lacey.

He leaned towards her before he could think better of it.

“People are watching,” she warned.

Gold smirked. “I know.”

Kissing her in front of a bar full of people shouldn’t have been as easy as it was. Until then, all of their moments together had been moments spent in secret; when the doors were closed, when there was no one but the two of them. They had been fleeting moments. A part of Gold thought that kissing her in public, proving to everyone that the rumours were true, would feel awkward or wrong. He felt neither of those things. As Lacey slipped off her stool, wrapping her arms around his neck and eagerly meeting his lips with hers, he felt relief.

No more secrets. 

“I missed you.” It was him that had been thinking those words, but it was Lacey who whispered them against the corner of his mouth.

Without another word, only a sly smile, she took his hand and led him from the bar.

The crowd parted to let them through. Some were stunned into silence, others muttered to themselves. A few, the ones Gold did his best to ignore, weren’t looking at him or Lacey at all. They were looking at Neal.

Outside, the stunned murmuring and music was muted by the door swinging closed behind them. It provided a moment to breathe, to enjoy the cool air and no one near him but Lacey, but the moment didn’t last for more than a handful of seconds. Lacey stiffened, and he knew without asking what was wrong. Two men leaned against the side of the Rabbit Hole, smoking and talking loudly. One of them was a tenant of his who struggled monthly to keep up with his rent, the other was less familiar, but he knew the boy lived in a house owned by his father. It was him who spoke the loudest.

“Guess we know why our date didn’t work out.” He talked as if he was only making conversation with his friend, but his eyes fell on Lacey and her hand tightened around Gold’s. “You think anyone believes that was an accident?”

“Gareth...” Keith warned. Gold had always thought him to be a vain, simple man, but at least he had the good sense to eye both Gold and Lacey warily.

Lacey didn’t notice. She turned to face Gareth square on, her hand slipping from Gold’s.

“Excuse me?”

“Come on, Lace. We all know what you really want.”

He laughed, and suddenly Lacey wasn’t at Gold’s side anymore. She marched across, fists clenched, and planted one of them into the side of Gareth’s face.

His head snapped to the side and Keith jumped back. Gold stood in stunned silence, until Lacey prepared for another attack. Then his feet moved forward by themselves, his cane keeping him steady as he grabbed Lacey’s arm and pulled her back. 

“We should go,” he told her calmly. Lacey only shrugged him off.

“The bitch hit me!” Gareth spat.

“Keep talking like that and I’ll do it again!”

Gold tucked Lacey away behind himself, and turned to Keith.

“Take him home, Mr. Nottingham,” he said evenly. “Your friend’s very drunk. I think he fell and hurt himself.”

Keith swallowed and backed away, pulling Gareth by the sleeve after him.

“Lacey,” Gold continued, reclaiming her hand. She followed his lead, but her eyes didn’t leave Gareth and his friend. He couldn’t blame her. He kept an eye on them himself as he got her into his car and locked them both inside.

Neither of them said anything at first. Gold adjusted himself in his seat and Lacey took his cane from him to rest it by her legs, but she kept her attention focused out of the front window.

Gold sighed.

“You shouldn’t have hit him,” he said.

Lacey didn’t respond, so he tried for a lighter approach.

“I could have done it with my cane.”

She snorted and finally looked at him, the returning hint of a smile on her face. It was a shame her eyes were so sad.

“It was one date,” she said quietly.

Gold shook his head. “You don’t have to explain yourself.”

“But I feel like I do!” she snapped. She brushed her hair back from her face and looked out of her side window. There was nothing to see. The car was parked in the shadow of the Rabbit Hole, all she would be able to make out in the dark was bins and a wall. He still let her look, to give her a little escape outside of the confines of his car while she gathered her thoughts.

After a moment of quiet, Lacey looked down at her hands.

“I haven’t been with as many people as they think,” she muttered. “And I’m not after your money.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her that it didn’t matter. He was a divorcee, and his time after the divorce, before meeting Lacey, hadn’t exactly been a celibate one. He’d met his fair share of women who were only interested in money. It shouldn’t matter, but it did to Lacey. So he nodded, covered her hands with his own, and waited for her to look at him.

“I believe you,” he told her.

A smile flickered across her lips, and this time he saw the twinkle of it in her eyes.

“Can we go?” she asked. “Somewhere… Somewhere where it’s just us.”

Leaning across, Gold kissed her temple and gave her hands a squeeze.

“Of course, sweetheart.”


	8. Why Can’t This Be Love?

They were almost there, the Rabbit Hole long behind them, when Lacey finally asked where he was taking her.

“Somewhere no one will think to look,” he answered, pulling the car up onto the side of the road. “It’s private.”

It was a back road that led out of Storybrooke, through the dense woods which surrounded the whole town. Few people ever used that road. It didn’t lead to any major towns or cities, and it was late. No one would pass them. No one would see the black Cadillac in the dark.

After their very public kiss, Gold needed the peace of mind of knowing that no one would find them at her apartment or his house. There would be no more repeats of Neal almost walking in on them, or any visits from the sheriff in search of Lacey after her altercation with Gareth. They were finally alone.

Lacey looked around, an odd silence falling over her as she scanned the surrounding trees. She wouldn’t be able to see much. There were no street lamps that far out of town, the only light came from inside the car itself, but she still took everything in before she looked at him again.

“Did you bring me to a make out point?”

“It’s private,” he repeated. 

Lacey laughed and shook her head, turning her body to face him with a mischievous little grin that stopped his breath. She bit her lip and his heart stopped with it.

“I’m not complaining.” She folded her legs underneath herself and leaned towards him. “Now I know why you didn’t want to take my bike.” 

“That damn thing’s a death trap.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

His hand tightened on the wheel of the car, in the same way he always gripped his cane. Lacey looked at the wheel and Gold relaxed his grip.

“Come here,” he said calmly.

Lacey met his eyes unwaveringly, and pressed her lips together. She considered him for a moment, and whatever she found in his face, or whatever she decided, made her want to move closer to him. She lifted herself up and crawled across into his lap. The way she jostled around to make herself comfortable should have hurt, but she was careful as she settled herself in and looped her arms around his shoulders.

“How’s your ankle?” she asked, putting all of her weight on his good leg and leaning into his chest.

Gold grasped her hips and held her still. “It’s fine.”

Lacey didn’t respond. She searched his face, and Gold searched hers until he couldn’t help but break the silence.

“Why did you hit him?”

She tugged lightly at his hair, and he wasn’t entirely convinced it was an accident. “Why do you think?”

“The things he implied--”

“Are the things everyone thinks,” Lacey interrupted. “I’ve been with the whole town, but it’s _you_ who knocks me up. _I wonder why she’s having a kid with the grumpy, rich, older guy? It must be true love,_ ” she mocked.

Gold pulled her close, so that her hips pressed against his stomach, and her arms locked tighter around his shoulders.

“These things happen,” he said. “We know the truth. That’s all the matters.”

Lacey scoffed. “Does _Neal_ know the truth?”

He didn’t know what to say to that. Gold liked to think that his son didn’t think so low of him that he’d assume a woman would only want him for his money, or that Neal would think his closest friend would go behind his back. He was a smart boy. He had to know the truth.

“Neal thinks the same as the rest of them. He wouldn’t even _look_ at me in the bar. And that was that. I had to leave.”

Gold stroked his hand up her back, and Lacey pressed her forehead against his. He should have left her alone. It was his fault for not staying away from her all those nights it was just the two of them in the house. He hadn’t thought anything of letting Neal’s friend stay in his home while her flooded apartment was cleaned up. But then Neal hadn’t been there, and they’d talked, and he’d realised how wonderful she was.

“I’m glad you were there,” he whispered.

He didn’t know if he meant the Rabbit Hole or his home. It didn’t really matter. It was true for both.

Humming thoughtfully, Lacey ran her fingers through his hair and he didn’t even try to pretend not to enjoy it. He leaned into her touch and she brushed her lips against his.

It was easy to forget the cold stares of Storybrooke’s residence, or the way his son had deliberately avoided looking their way, when Lacey’s warm lips moved over his. She held herself close to him, still playing with his hair with one hand, and let the other wander lower. She loosened his tie and plucked at the buttons of his waistcoat.

He regretted wearing so many layers.

Pushing apart his waistcoat, Lacey’s hand felt for his belt. Neither of them wanted to break their kiss or the closeness between them. Gold himself couldn’t think about anything but Lacey; her soft lips on his, her eager hands pulling at his belt buckle. He didn’t think to stop her from sitting back when she pulled the belt free and rested her weight on both of his legs. A pain shot up from his ankle, and he ended their kiss with a grunt of pain.

“Fuck-- Lacey, _wait_.”

Lacey froze, looking at him with a concerned little frown, and he wanted to kiss it away.

She shook her head. “I’m s--”

“There’s more room in the back,” Gold interrupted. He couldn’t have her thinking the same of him as everyone else. His age already had him at a disadvantage, he didn’t want her thinking that his ankle made him incapable of keeping up with her.

An uncertain smile appeared on her face, and she carefully climbed out of his lap and slipped between the front seats. Gold himself stepped out of the car to move into the back seat, leaning all of his weight on the door and his good leg as he climbed inside.

Lacey still watched him with concern, but she didn’t say anything about it when he slid into the seat beside her and locked the doors.

Instead, she gave him a soft and gentle peck on the lips, and whispered against his mouth. “Lie down.”

He did as she said, with her eyes fixed on his and her hand lightly pressing against his chest. There wasn’t enough room for him to lie down flat. His shoulders rested awkwardly against the door, but the position meant that he could hang his hurt leg straight off the side of the seat. Lacey didn’t make any mention of it as she shrugged off her jacket and threw it onto the front seat, but he knew she’d chosen that position deliberately.

She leaned over him, knelt on the floor of the car, and shimmied out of her jeans with some difficulty. There wasn’t a lot of room in the back of his car, but Lacey had never pretended to be graceful. She laughed at herself, threw her jeans to her jacket, and climbed on top of him.

Gold smiled at the easy way she carried herself, completely carefree. It was how she was before she started to hide behind baggy clothes and secrets.

Regretting that train of thought the moment it entered his head, Gold took Lacey’s hands into his and kissed them. Her smile slipped and her lips parted. He knew that look. He was prepared for it when she took his face between both hands and surged forward to kiss him.

Few people were ever gentle with Lacey, but sometimes she needed it.

“I missed you,” he said, echoing her own words back to her as she sat up and pulled at his clothes. 

She didn’t take off her own shirt, and Gold didn’t mention it. He let her clumsily pull at the buttons of his shirt and the front of his trousers. If she still wasn’t ready to show her stomach outside of ultrasounds, then he wouldn’t push her to.

“I missed you too,” she panted, stroking him through his boxer briefs. “Did you miss this?”

Licking his lips, Gold groaned at her touch. Her fingers traced the line of his hardening cock, and he nodded emphatically.

“Oh, yes. All of this. All of you.” He squeezed her thighs and she squeezed him in return. “Lacey...”

Pleased with herself, Lacey smiled and pulled him free of his boxer briefs. He groaned at the feel of her skin on his, the firm grip of her fingers around his cock, and her smile widened.

“No second thoughts?” she teased, stroking up his length.

“ _None_.”

“Mmm. Good.”

She leaned forward to kiss him, and Gold threaded his fingers through her hair to hold her close. The gentle swell of her stomach pressed against him, but she didn’t give him a chance to savour the moment of being held so close to her. She pulled away quickly, as if she knew he’d noticed, and gave him a long, slow stroke to distract him. It worked. His hips bucked into her hand, and Lacey’s pleased smile returned. Even in the darkness in the back of the car, he could still see her eyes sparkle with mischief.

“Lacey,” Gold groaned, digging his fingers into her thighs to pull her close. She resisted, and the spark in her eyes told him she hadn’t finished teasing him.

Humming a sound that was far from innocent, Lacey leaned over him and held his gaze.

“I’d go down on you if there was more room,” she said sweetly.

“ _Fuck_.“

She laughed, the sound of it husky and rich in his ear, and shuffled forward to position her hips over his. Gold didn’t think he could wait any longer, or last much longer, but then she sank down onto his cock and all of those thoughts left him. All he could focus on was that one moment, where they were finally joined.

Her breath caught and she rolled her hips, grinding against him. She set the pace, and all Gold could do was try to keep up. He wanted to touch her, but he didn’t trust his hands not to brush over her stomach. He gripped her hips instead, willing himself to keep his hands where they were, and followed Lacey’s rocking. Her movements started off languid, getting a feel for their new position together, after so long apart, but she soon began to find a faster rhythm.

He hit his head back against the car door. She felt amazing, and he’d missed the sight of her like this; desperate and eager and open, without secrets or pretence.

“Lacey.”

Her eyes opened, half-lidded and hunger-filled, and she fisted her hands in the shirt she hadn’t quite managed to push off him.

“ _Alastair_...” She pressed her hands against Gold’s chest, supporting herself over him, and he bucked his hips up to meet hers. She gasped and her eyes fluttered shut. “Do that again.”

He did, again and again until her mouth fell open and she lost any attempt to keep herself quiet and in control.

“That's right,” he encouraged, as she lost herself to the pleasure building between them. His voice had always seemed to affect her, and he made sure to lay the accent on thick. “ _Fuck_ \-- I’ve missed this.”

He stroked his fingers along the inside of her thigh, and circled his thumb over her clit. Lacey keened. Her breath came in short bursts, as each rock of her hips carried her closer to her climax.

“Are you close?” he asked, his voice gruff and deep.

Lacey nodded furiously and licked her lips. “ _Yes_!”

He could feel how close she was. He was close too. Her back arched, even in the cramped space of his car, and she dug her nails into his chest. She’d always done that. From the first moment they’d slept together, Lacey’s nails had raked down his back or dug into her chest. He was only half-convinced she didn’t realise she was doing it.

Teasing his thumb across her clit, Gold willed his own climax away until Lacey was finished, but it was no good. She cried out, on the edge of coming, and it went straight to his cock. He came inside her with a groan and Lacey’s nails clawing his chest. She muttered something, as she reached for her release, over and over like a song until she found it. Gold watched, enthralled, as she found her climax and rode along with it.

Then she sagged. Her shoulders slumped forward, head lowered, and she stretched herself down across him like a cat; panting and smiling with satisfaction.

“I like your face when you’re like this,” she murmured, tapping his chin.

Gold didn’t say anything. The new position pressed the curve of her stomach against his own, and he worried that even his intake of breath might make her realise that he could _feel_ their child between them.

 _Their child_.

He smiled without realising it, and Lacey gave him a tired, contented smile of her own.

“Do you not like my face any other time?” he asked.

Lacey snorted and dropped her head to his shoulder.

“I like it,” she said, stroking her hand up his side. “You’re just more relaxed like this. No stern mouth or angry frown. Just… relaxed.”

“Aye?” he whispered. Lacey only hummed in response, still running her hand across whatever bit of side or chest she could touch, and said nothing more. 

His body buzzed in the aftermath of what they’d just done. A flood of words wanted to leave him, to fill the heavy silence, but he didn’t trust himself to speak. If he spoke now, then he would say something that Lacey wasn’t ready to hear.


	9. Only My Heart Talkin’

Lacey’s nerves had been on edge all morning. It was one thing to plan something with Gold, to decide a time and date for them to spend time together, it was another to actually carry out that plan.

She hadn’t had much sleep the night before, and most of her morning had been spent fussing over how she looked. They were only meeting in her little apartment, but Lacey had no doubt that Gold would turn up in his three piece suit, polished shoes, pocket square and all. It was almost impossible now to fit into her usual clothes, and the weather was too hot to wear anything that covered her too much.

Eventually, Lacey had settled on a black summer dress that left her arms and legs bare, but flared out beneath her breasts. It wouldn’t hide the unmistakable bump any more than anything else in her wardrobe, but it would do. With a sigh, Lacey sat and waited, eyeing the bassinet in the corner of her sitting room. Ruby and Dorothy had helped her assemble it the week before, when she’d made her plans with Gold. At least he wouldn’t be able to say she was unprepared now.

The month following their night in his car had been pleasant enough, but it felt more like floating on the calm surface of a river. It was a tenuous peace, almost a truce. Lacey felt like she could sink through the surface at any moment and get carried away by the undercurrent.

That was why they needed to talk. Everyone knew their secret now, but beyond dinner in Granny’s every week, their relationship hadn’t rebuilt or grown.

A knock came at the door and Lacey jumped to her feet. She knew it was him, it couldn’t be anyone else, but a part of her had doubted that he would come. Her heart raced as she tucked her hair behind her ears and hoped the hurried bun she’d pulled it into didn’t look too much of a mess. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and opened the door.

“Oh.”

“Oh?” Gold repeated.

He didn’t look how she’d expected him to at all. He still had his cane, his polished shoes and pressed suit trousers, but the blazer and waistcoat were gone. Even his black tie was pulled loose, and the top button of his shirt undone, as if he’d tried to look his best, but even he wasn’t immune to the heat.

Lacey found herself smiling. If he was willing to forgo his fancy suit, to be seen without his layers of armour, then he had to be serious about talking things through with her.

“Nothing,” she answered, opening the door further for him to step inside. “Just never thought I’d see you out like this.”

Her poor little fan whirred away on the ceiling, working with her air conditioning to keep the room cool, but she still felt a heat settling in her chest when she closed the door. It was just the two of them. Gold watched her expectantly as she locked the door, and she pretended not to notice the way his eyes looked her over.

“Do you want something to drink?” she offered, hurrying away to her kitchenette. “I’ve got coffee, water… Some juice.” She paused, frowning as she opened her fridge. It sounded so insufficient, offering water to a man who was used to the finest wines and whiskies.

“I gave the stronger stuff to Ruby,” she added.

Gold smiled, and she saw no trace of pity in it, or any judgement in his eyes. If anything, she saw a flash of relief.

“Water’s fine,” he said.

Lacey grabbed them both a glass and left Gold to make himself at home. He did technically own the place, after all. She filled them both with water from the fridge, and even added ice, before she turned around and found Gold still standing in the doorway. He gripped his cane, and Lacey tried to ignore the way he watched her.

She tried to, but the heat spreading down her chest definitely wasn’t from the summer sun.

“Come sit down,” she said, brushing by him and taking their drinks to the sofa. It was a comfy, green cushioned sofa, but it was also old and had definitely seen better days. She almost wondered if Gold would want to cover it with a cloth before he sat on it, but he didn’t hesitate or look disgusted by her lack of quality furniture. He sat beside her and accepted his drink with a quiet ‘thank you’.

Lacey wiped the condensation from the glass on the cushion beside her and scooted away. She didn’t want him too close, not yet. Not when the warmth inside her was starting to feel so comfortable. She needed to hear what he had to say before she let herself get her hopes up.

She waited for a moment while they both took a sip of their waters, and they both waited for the other to speak first. In the end, they spoke at the same time.

“You’re still riding your bike.”

“I saw Neal yesterday.”

Lacey didn’t know if she wanted to laugh or ask why his opener had sounded like an accusation, Gold smiled and decided for her.

“You first,” he said. Lacey put her glass down.

“I saw Neal with Emma. He looked like he was heading to your place.”

Gold took another drink of water and tapped the glass with his index finger. He nodded, but he seemed to be waiting for something before he spoke, like he was counting away the seconds.

“A lot of his things are still at home,” he said evenly. “And the shop.”

“Right.”

“He’s been helping Emma in the sheriff’s office,” Gold continued.

“He really quit working in the shop?”

“Oh yes.” He tipped his glass to her, as if saluting her with a tumbler of whisky. “I was at the shop when he went home. He won’t...” Gold cleared his throat. “He won’t go there if I’m there.”

Pressing her lips into a line, Lacey shuffled a little closer and took his hand. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t know what to say. When Neal had first found out about them, Lacey had convinced herself that he would eventually want to talk to them again. He just needed time. But then the weeks had stretched on, and after their very public kiss in the Rabbit Hole, she worried she’d only made things worse for Gold.

She squeezed his hand and he squeezed hers back.

“You still ride your bike,” he said at last. Lacey frowned.

“It’s the only way I can get around. I can hardly walk everywhere.”

“I could drive you.”

She scoffed. “You live on the other side of town. You can’t drive across here, then drive back into town to take me to Granny’s.”

“You shouldn’t still be working,” Gold pointed out. “I could take you anywhere else.”

“Another ride in your car to the woods?”

His jaw tightened and he let go of her hand, but he didn’t say anything to that. He drummed his fingers on his knee, in the way she’d come to realise was his way of telling himself to stay calm, and put his glass down.

“I _should_ still be working,” Lacey said. “I need the money.”

“You’re seven months p--”

“Not quite. Not yet.”

“Lacey...” he sighed, with all the weariness of someone who’d been there before.

She looked away, and held her hands tight in her lap when he reached out for her. 

“I already told you, I’m willing to help. Financially.”

“Financially,” she repeated. “I don’t need financial help. I’m making my own money, and I need my bike to do that.”

Gold scoffed. “The damn thing isn’t safe.”

“It’s fine. I know how to ride.”

“So did I.”

Lacey opened her mouth to argue back, and then snapped it shut again. A frown of confusion replaced her scowl, and she turned on the sofa to face him, but he wasn’t looking at her now. His body was still turned towards her, but his gaze had fallen to the space between them.

“What?” she asked uncertainly.

“That’s why I have this,” he sighed, grabbing the handle of his cane. “I came off my bike.”

He eyed her, like he wasn’t sure how she would react. Did he expect her to scorn him for crashing his bike when she never had? Did he expect her to mock him or brush off his concern for her own safety as nothing?

If nothing else, knowing why he was so concerned brought a strange sort of relief. He wasn’t trying to control her. He didn’t disapprove of a woman riding a bike. He was _worried_ about her.

She scooted even closer to him.

“What happened?”

Gold shrugged, releasing his cane.

“It was years ago,” he said quietly. “Neal’s mother had a tendency to be reckless. She liked to drag everyone along with her. It was typical of our relationship that I crashed and she didn’t.” Gold went quiet, but she could tell he wanted to say more. His fingers twitched in that way they always did when he wasn’t sure what to do.

“She left not long after that,” he added, quieter than before.

Lacey’s concern deepened, and she leaned so close to him that their thighs pressed together. Neal never talked about his mother, and Gold didn’t ever share details about his past. They’d all assumed his wife had died, but maybe a messy divorce was the reason for his and Neal’s silence.

“That’s why Neal won’t get a bike,” she realised.

Gold cleared his throat and nodded.

“Most likely.”

All of her anger and frustration trickled away when she saw Gold like that. He was being open and honest, _truly_ open and honest. More than he ever had been when they were sleeping together, during their sort-of relationship. 

“He loves you,” she assured him, brushing his hair back so she could see his face better. “You haven’t lost him forever.”

“Dr. Hopper agrees with you.”

Lacey smiled a little wider. 

“I can’t believe you’ve been seeing him all this time, when you could’ve come to me for free.”

Gold laughed, it was slight, but it was there, and that was enough for Lacey. She knelt up on the sofa and wrapped her arms around Gold’s shoulders.

“Is he helping you?” she asked, playing with the ends of his hair.

He nodded, and didn’t at all seem to mind her pulling him against her chest and running her fingers through his hair. Lacey smiled. No one would believe Mr. Gold liked to be held.

“This was his idea,” he said. “To sit down and talk with you, before the baby...” He trailed off, but it wasn’t really his fault. Lacey had often shut down any mention of a baby, or the use of the word pregnancy, wherever possible. Even now, with her obvious bump and his head pillowed on her larger breasts, he wasn’t sure if he could say the word.

It was ridiculous. _She_ had been ridiculous, she decided. Biting her lips, and pushing against the little voice that told her she could ignore it just a little longer, Lacey took Gold’s hand. She guided it to her bump, and pressed his palm flat against it. He froze, before lifting his head to look at her. He almost didn’t seem able to believe it, as if she would put his hand on her by accident, but she smiled and hoped that was enough to assure and encourage him. It seemed to be. His finger brushed tenderly, just barely, across the soft fabric of her dress, and Lacey felt that heat swell in her chest. Like her heart was about to burst.

Lacey pressed her forehead to his and smiled.

“Is this okay?” she whispered. Gold only nodded, at a loss for words, but his hand continued to smooth over her stomach.

They stayed like that, Lacey didn’t know how long for, until she stifled a yawn and Gold pulled back.

“Are you tired?” he asked.

It didn’t seem to matter to him that it was noon. Over the last couple of weeks, while her energy had started running out quicker, both August and Ruby had seemed surprised by how soon she got tired. But not Gold.

She nodded, and almost regretted being honest when he let her go and stood up.

“Wait here,” he told her, grabbing his cane.

Watching him over the back of the sofa, Lacey sat back and waited. Normally, she would be annoyed with him leaving her and telling her to wait, without any explanation, but she was curious. He gathered the cushions off her sofa and took them to her bed. Her bedroom had no walls or dividers, it was just around the corner created by her bathroom, and behind her little sitting area. Lacey watched Gold set up the pillows and cushions on one side of the bed, and stood up when he looked her way.

“It’ll help your back,” was the only explanation he gave.

Lacey narrowed her eyes at him, but her smile likely ruined the suspicious look.

“I can’t sleep in this dress. It’s too hot,” she told him. She had thought it might fluster him, maybe he’d turn away or offer to leave, but he met her eyes and accepted her challenge.

Holding his gaze, Lacey stood up, lifted her dress over her head, and threw it to the side. Her underwear was far from sexy. It was mismatched black and grey, and practical and comfy. They were made to support her body, not to look attractive, but Gold still couldn’t take his eyes from her. It gave her a boost of confidence as she climbed onto the bed and sat back on the nest of cushions.

“On your side,” he said gently. “Your left.”

Sighing loudly, Lacey shifted onto her left, turning her back on him. She was partially sitting up, her back supported against the cushions from the sofa, and he made sure they were tucked in behind her.

“Alastair?”

He didn’t answer. He moved around the bed, taking his time. She heard him shifting, moving things and tapping his cane, and when he appeared around the other side of the bed, he was only wearing his trousers.

Lacey’s mouth fell open.

“What’re you doing?”

“What does it look like?” Gold asked, unbuckling his belt.

The pleasant warmth that had stirred in her chest dropped down low in her stomach. She watched him unabashedly as he unfastened his trousers and slipped them off. Gold didn’t mind. He didn’t get flustered under her appraising look or try to hide himself. He stood before her, in just his boxer-briefs, and climbed onto the bed beside her.

They lay there for a moment in silence. He stayed on his back, staring at the ceiling, and Lacey brought her knee up to nudge his thigh.

“Don’t you have to get back to the shop?” she asked quietly.

He turned his head towards her and smiled.

“I took the day off.”

“Oh.” She couldn’t think of anything else to say. She hadn’t expected him to join her, or to even suggest that she let herself rest.

They stared at one another, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. A smirk slowly spread across his face, and Lacey found herself grinning back at him. She slipped her leg over his, and without any prompting, he turned on his side and moved closer. The air conditioning kept the room comfortably cool, but a heat radiated from his whole body. Warm arms slipped around her, and Lacey tangled her legs with his.

“You don’t mind staying?” she asked, just to be certain.

“Lacey,” Gold sighed. “You could sleep all day and all night. I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

She settled in his arms, and he pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“I won’t sleep that long,” she teased. “I have to work tomorrow.”

Gold hummed.

“At the diner.”

“We’ve been over this,” Lacey said patiently. “I have to work somewhere.”

Gold shifted, settling against his pillow, and ran his hand up her side. His touch always sent an excited thrill through her, but that afternoon it came with something more soothing, comfortable. It was about just being together, feeling content to hold one another and nothing else.

“You met Neal at university,” he remembered.

She lazily shrugged a shoulder and closed her eyes, ready to let sleep take her.

“Degrees don’t mean anything these days, especially mine.” She stroked her fingers across his back, drawing patterns along his spine. She could get used to this. “I majored in library science, and moved to a town without a library.”

Gold returned her touches, mirroring the shapes she traced on her back, and said nothing. The silence, the whir of her ceiling fan and his tender touches on her skin, lulled her to sleep. She had no way of knowing his silence was because she was wrong. Storybrooke _did_ have a library, it just didn’t have a librarian willing to run it.


	10. Baby It's You

“You said you moved around a lot.”

“I did.”

“Why did you stay in Storybrooke?”

Lacey looked up. Dr. Hopper had the same, reassuring smile he’d had on his face since she arrived. It was a kind, open smile -- the sort of smile that could trick you into sharing all sorts of secrets -- but Gold had promised her that Hopper could be trusted.

“I don’t know,” she said at last. “It was quiet.”

Much like Hopper’s office. It was a cosy, peaceful place with comfy leather chairs. Lacey almost wanted to put her feet up on the coffee table.

He nodded and smiled encouragingly.

“How did the quiet make you feel?” he asked.

 _Safe_.

Lacey pressed her lips together. She herself didn’t really know why she’d stayed in Storybrooke for so long. She’d only stayed in New York for as long as she had for university. It was all by chance, not because of some deep, unknown psychology that Hopper could help her unlock. But his talks with Gold seemed to have helped him, so Lacey had decided to give it a shot.

“I made a friend,” she said. “He was coming home when uni ended. I was trying to find a place to stay. He invited me to check out Storybrooke. So I did. New York’s fine, but busy.”

“And you had a friend here to show you around?”

She shouldn’t have mentioned Neal. He still hadn’t spoken to her or Gold, and the reminder of that stung. The longer they went without speaking, the harder it would be to reach out and close the rift. More than once, she wanted to go to him and tell him how sorry she was, but then thought better of it. It was Neal who had stopped speaking, who had moved out of Gold’s house and continued on with his life without them.

If anyone was going to reach out, it had to be Neal, and she was starting to get the feeling he felt just as awkward about the whole thing as she did.

Stroking her hand over her stomach, Lacey shrugged and glanced around the room.

“I guess.”

“You started a life here, Lacey,” Hopper said gently. The leather of his chair squeaked as he sat forward, but Lacey still refused to look at him. “You made friends, you’re starting a family.”

Her hand stopped, and she cautiously looked at Hopper. He only smiled, encouraging and reassuring.

“You don’t seem so sure about that?” he prompted.

He made it sound like such a simple question, but if Lacey knew the answer to that, then she wouldn’t need his help in the first place. Wasn’t everyone scared of commitment, to some extent? Didn’t everyone worry about making connections only to have them broken?

Lacey shrugged again, but Hopper only continued to patiently wait for an answer.

“Nothing lasts forever,” she settled on saying.

“You’re afraid of losing the ones you love?” he asked, without a hint of judgement or amusement. He didn’t think her fears were ridiculous. Lacey nodded. “That’s perfectly normal,” Hopper continued. “After losing your parents… It’s understandable that you’re afraid of building new connections.”

Lacey huffed a laugh she didn’t really feel, but still Hopper’s face didn’t change. He didn’t laugh with her or ridicule her, and her mocking smile fell.

“But I made them anyway,” she said warily.

“You did. You let people in, and now you have friends and a partner who loves you. They won’t leave you, Lacey.”

 _People don’t always_ choose _to leave_ , she thought. Her parents hadn’t.

* * *

She wished she’d made other plans with Gold. After leaving Hopper’s office, the last thing Lacey wanted was to be around other people. She wanted privacy and quiet and Gold to distract her. There were too many people in Granny’s diner. Too many eyes fell on her when she slipped into the window booth beside Gold, and he smiled at her as if he didn’t notice any of it.

Sometimes she wished he would. She wanted him to give them all one of his sternest, coldest glares, just to frighten them all off.

“How was it?” he asked, and leaned in to press a kiss to her temple.

Lacey shrugged out of her jacket and sighed, still imagining what it would be like for him to scare everyone from the diner. She wouldn’t mind being there if they had the whole place to themselves.

“It was fine,” she said. “Have you ordered?”

He knew when to take a hint. Gold wouldn’t push her to tell him what she’d talked about, which she was thankful for, but he’d be able to see that it bothered her.

Pushing forward a smile, apparently choosing not to press her, Gold reached for something on the seat beside him and lifted a flat box; a box of Granny’s doughnuts.

“You know I don’t have that craving anymore,” she laughed, reaching for them.

“Well, if you don’t want them...”

Gold started to take the box away, back to the hiding spot under the table, but Lacey grabbed it before he could.

“No, no,” she insisted. “I’ll take one.” Taking the whole box in both hands, she held it firmly on the table in front of her. Gold only smirked an annoyingly pleased, lop-sided smile.

“Didn’t you order anything else?” she asked, opening the doughnut box. It was full of an assortment of Granny’s best doughnuts, including her favourite; strawberries and cream. Lacey plucked it up, took her first bite with a happy hum, and offered the box to Gold. He shook his head and smiled, declining.

“No,” he said. “But I do have something else.” 

Sitting forward, Lacey licked the sweet strawberry icing from her lips, and didn’t miss how Gold’s eyes dropped to watch the movement. She smiled, and it only widened when he cleared his throat and looked away.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, black box. At first, the wild idea of it being a ring popped into her head. She hadn’t considered marriage -- it was too early for _marriage_ \-- but then he slid the box across the table to her, and she realised it wasn’t a ring box at all.

She should have known. Gold wouldn’t propose in the middle of Granny’s, during the day, over a box of doughnuts. He’d take her somewhere expensive, dark and more private, and she’d feel underdressed and out of place.

Lacey pushed the thoughts aside and put her doughnut back into the doughnut box.

“What’s this?” she said, lifting the lid of the little black box. A key sat inside. There was nothing immediately special about it. It didn’t sit on a cushion or have any key rings to give away what it might be. It was just a simple, unassuming silver key, and relatively new.

“What’s it for?” Lacey asked.

She looked up at Gold’s face, curious, but he only nodded at her doughnut with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Finish your doughnut and I’ll show you.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You’ve been plotting something.”

“Perhaps,” he agreed, inclining his head towards her. “But I think you’ll enjoy this scheme.”

Ruby came over before she could press him further, and Gold greeted her with a pleasant smile. She didn’t know what to make of his generosity, or the way Ruby smiled at him as she took his order. She looked almost pleased as Gold did when she turned to her and asked what she wanted. Lacey tried to match their happy mood and ordered the chicken parmesan.

Gold eyed her as Ruby left. She shifted in her seat and tried to smile, and that seemed to be enough for him.

“Are you hungry?” he asked, rearranging the boxes on the table. Lacey took the little key and held it in her lap. She couldn’t really say why, but she didn’t want him to take it away now that he’d given it to her, whatever it was.

“A little,” she admitted. “I didn’t really eat this morning.”

He frowned, and Lacey glanced around the diner. There were only one or two empty seats, but unlike the Rabbit Hole, no one here cared about them. They wanted to eat their lunches in peace, and so did she. As long as Gold didn’t ask why she hadn’t eaten properly. She didn’t want to have to tell him she was nervous about seeing Hopper.

“They won’t stare while I’m here,” Gold said. Apparently she hadn’t been as subtle in her people-watching as she’d thought. “I’m a natural deterrent.”

Lacey smirked and turned her attention back to him.

“Yeah, that’s why I love being with you,” she teased. The full meaning of her words, of _the_ word, didn’t fully hit her until she saw his smile falter. “I mean--”

Gold covered her hand with his own, tentative and a little uncertain. Lacey held her breath.

“I love you, too,” he said quietly. She wondered if his soft voice was from nerves or a desire not to be overheard. Maybe both.

Releasing her breath, Lacey looked at his hand over hers. She daren’t move. She didn’t want to ruin the quiet honesty that had come over them.

The thought of threading her fingers through his and telling him that she loved him, telling him _properly_ , quickly came to mind. But her fingers and mouth didn’t want to move. So she stared wordlessly at their joined hands, until Ruby brought them their drinks and it was too late. The moment was broken.

They pulled apart. Lacey clasped her hands in her lap and Gold reached for his tea. It was almost as if the moment hadn’t happened. She didn’t know how she felt about that, but she needed a distraction from it.

“So.” She cleared her throat. “What’s the deal with this key?”

* * *

They walked alongside one another as they left Granny’s. Gold carried the doughnut box in one hand, and Lacey bumped her shoulder against the same arm.

“Where are we going?” she asked, but it did no good. She hadn’t been able to get any answers out of him in the diner. He only gave her amused smiles and told her to be patient.

It was hard to be patient, to enjoy any of the food or drink Gold ordered for their lunch, with the key sitting in her lap and those three little words hanging over them. _I love you._ The gift of the key almost felt as if it was taunting her, and Gold refused to give her any clues.

He did the same now.

“It’s just down here,” he said cryptically.

Lacey looked down the street and frowned. “Your shop?”

“Not quite.”

He led her to a different building, the one across the road from his shop, and Lacey’s frown only deepened.

She glanced across to Gold’s front window while he used the mysterious key to unlock the doors of the mystery building. The sign, _Gold & Son_, made her sigh and touch her stomach. Neal didn’t work for Gold anymore. Would he have to change the sign? She couldn’t imagine Gold changing anything about his shop, he wasn’t a big fan of change, but the sign wouldn’t have to change if she had a boy, a small voice told her.

She only had 8 weeks left.

“Lacey?”

Pulled from her thoughts, Lacey turned back to Gold. He smiled and beckoned her closer with the box of doughnuts. The doors were unlocked.

“What is this place?”

Gold pushed open one of the doors with only a secretive smile, and Lacey ducked inside. It was cool, being inside and out of the summer sun, but there was no air conditioning. The still air hung heavy with the smell of dust. She could feel it under her boots as she walked in, and a thick, grey layer of it covered the rows and rows of… books.

Lacey turned to him with a question on her lips, but Gold beat her to it.

“Storybrooke used to have a library,” he explained. “But it’s been closed for years.”

Shaking her head in disbelief, she laughed and walked further into the room, to what would have been the librarian’s desk.

“How?” she asked, sweeping a fingertip over the dusty surface.

“I know the mayor. She’s willing to reopen, if you can manage it.”

Lacey nodded before she really gave herself a chance to consider it. She needed a job, and this was what she’d studied for.

“Did you tell her the potential librarian was, y’know--” She waved her hand in front of her stomach.

“I told her an… abbreviated version of the truth,” Gold allowed.

Lacey snorted and he smiled.

 _You started a life here_ , Hopper had said. And Gold had told her he loved her. Now she was setting down roots and making it something permanent. She was joking with Gold, in a library that could be her own.

She almost wanted to pinch herself.

“I can manage it,” she assured him. “But I might need an assistant.” 

“That’s fine. There’s room in the budget.” He approached her, the clack of his cane dulled by the dust on the floor. She had _a lot_ of work to do.

“There’s an apartment above,” he added. “You can move in whenever you’re--”

“I don’t want the apartment,” she interrupted.

If she was going to set down roots, if she was going to make this permanent and real and serious, then she knew exactly where she wanted to be.

Gold nodded, pressing his lips into a line.

“Right.”

“I don’t want it,” Lacey said carefully, stepping up to him, “because I think we should live together.”

“We?”

It still felt new and strange, acknowledging her pregnancy. Some days were easier than others, and Gold was always encouraging, but it still took Lacey a certain amount of bravery to bring her hand up to her stomach.

Gold’s eyes flicked between her hand and her face, while his brain calculated if she meant what he thought she meant.

“Us,” she said, putting him out of his misery.

His answering smile made it worth it.

“Yes,” he agreed readily, pulling her into a hug that sandwiched her hand between the two of them. “Yes, we should.”

Relaxing into his embrace, Lacey slowly wrapped her arms around Gold’s middle and hugged him back. He was so warm, and she buried her nose into his neck to breathe in the spice of his cologne.


	11. Cry Baby

Moving from her small apartment was fairly simple. All she really had to pack were clothes and toiletries, and the few books she’d decided to keep and take with her to Storybrooke.

All of those things were carried out by Dove, following Gold’s instructions. All she had to do was unpack them when they arrived at Gold’s house.

It didn’t take more than a few days, but those first few days had been strange. The last time she’d been in his home had been when her apartment flooded. It had been a temporary thing. She’d been given one of the guest rooms, and had only needed a bag of a few clothes to tide her over until the apartment was cleaned out.

Now, Gold led her directly to his bedroom. She couldn’t help but think of that first night she’d impulsively left her guest room to knock on his door. Neither of them had said anything when he answered and let her inside. It was as if they both _knew_ what was going to happen. They’d spent the evening talking and drinking his expensive whisky, and they both just knew they would end the night in bed.

If Gold was thinking of the same thing, he didn’t show it. He smiled pleasantly as he showed her the en suite and the walk-in closet. She’d wondered what was behind the second door. She should have known it was his wide array of suits, but now they’d all been moved to one half of the closet. Lacey wondered if he’d had to get rid of some of his suits to make room for her. She hoped not. She didn’t have anywhere near enough clothes to fill all the rails, racks, and drawers. 

“Do you need anything?” Gold asked, pulling her thoughts and gaze away from the empty space. The space he’d made in his closet, just for her.

She smiled.

“No, I’m good. But I won’t be needing all this space.” She spoke as if she was joking, but Gold frowned and saw what she really meant. Lacey didn’t have access to the same expensive, high-end clothes Gold always wore.

“You will in a few months,” he said, choosing to drop the subject. He indicated towards the bedroom door and left the closet. “I have something else to show you.”

Following after him and happy for the distraction, it didn’t take Lacey long to realise where he was taking her. Down the hall, opposite what had been Neal’s room, was the guest bedroom she’d stayed in. Or rather, the guest bedroom she spent one night in before deciding to move into Gold’s.

“My room?” she asked, frowning as he stood aside.

“Open it and see,” he said carefully.

Normally, he would have opened doors for her. It was a quirk of his that used to irk her, but she’d quickly got used to it. Now, when he didn’t do it, her curiosity and anxiety piqued. She warily reached for the door handle and gave it a light push. The lush carpet slowed the swing of the door down, and she frowned. She didn’t remember there being a cream carpet. The walls were the same soft blue, but Lacey didn’t get much further into the room than that before it hit her what she was looking at.

She recognised the bassinet immediately as the one that had been hidden in the corner of her apartment for months. It had been reassembled, with a little gold blanket folded neatly over the side. The furniture was all new. Light wood drawers and side tables replaced the previous dark mahogany. The bed had gone, a cot sat in its place, and a dark blue armchair was angled beside it, looking out of the window.

“I thought we’d move the bassinet into our room when… When the time comes,” Gold said behind her. “What do you think?”

_Our room._

Lacey shook her head and stepped back before she realised what she was doing.

“I should unpack.” It was the coward’s way out, but she needed to say something. She needed to catch her breath.

Retreating down the hall, Lacey almost hoped that Gold would stop her, but he didn’t. He let her hide in his bedroom -- _our room_ \-- and close the door behind her. She leaned against it, gasping for breath, and hit her head against the door. She was trying not to run but seeing a nursery, the permanence of it, all decorated and ready, and done for her as much as for the baby, had knocked her off balance.

It took her half an hour, while she took her time unpacking, to calm down. Her fingers shook as she hung up or folded her clothes. It was ridiculous. _She_ was ridiculous and it wasn’t fair to him, but she still needed a moment to herself to think.

When her unpacking was done, and she couldn’t put it off any longer, Lacey went in search of Gold. it didn’t take her long to find him. She hadn’t heard him moving around upstairs since she’d left him in the nursery, and she heard cups clinking in the kitchen. He mustn’t have heard her. His back was to her when she peered around the doorway. Which was fine by her. 

Stepping lightly across the kitchen, with her bare feet on the tiles, Lacey hugged him from behind. He froze, a brief, initial tension before he realised who it was and relaxed in her arms. She let out a breath of relief and rested her cheek against his back.

He put his hands over hers, where she clasped them perhaps a little too tightly over his stomach.

“I love you,” Lacey whispered.

Uncertain of how he would react, or if he had even heard her, Lacey closed her eyes and listened to the faint thrumming of his heart. It beat fast, in time with her own. He lifted her hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles.

“And I love you,” he said softly. “Would you like some tea?”

Lacey nodded and pulled back. He turned to face her, a question in his eyes, but she only smiled as if nothing had happened. Gold understood. He knew she wouldn’t want him to press her or make a big thing out of her words.

“Tea sounds good,” she said, and if she smiled a little brighter or stroked her stomach, Gold didn’t comment.

* * *

The rest of the day went by smoothly. Gold left in the afternoon to work at the shop. She’d already interrupted his shop hours with her move, but he didn’t seem to mind. It was her who’d insisted she would be fine without him for an hour or two. If she was being honest, she needed the hour or two alone to adjust to her new living arrangements. Gold’s house wasn’t just a place she was staying to escape a flooded apartment. It was her home now, as much as it was his, and she needed to get used to that.

That hour or two was spent wandering through the house, peeking through each door and flipping through the books in Gold’s office. A lot of them were on law or history, but there was a whole bookcase dedicated to fiction. Some of them she was surprised he’d even heard of.

By late afternoon, Gold came home and cooked them both dinner. He’d intended for them to sit at the dining table, but it was such a large table and so formal, Lacey had insisted they sit on the sofa with trays and watch TV. For all Gold’s insistence that he didn’t watch much television, he hadn’t been in any hurry to move once their dinner was over. Their trays of empty plates sat on the coffee table, and Lacey had scooted closer to curl against his side.

The film she’d only been half-watching -- some cheesy romance she’d never heard of -- finished before she realised that Gold’s breathing had evened out. His arm around her had relaxed, and Lacey knew before she looked that he’d fallen asleep. Her phone buzzed on the coffee table, and Lacey frowned at it for interrupting the moment. Gold didn’t often let his guard down. She wanted just a second more to enjoy it.

“Alice?” she said softly, tilting back her head to look at him. He hadn’t stirred. His head stayed tipped to one side, over hers, and his face was slack and peaceful. She smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, leaving behind a faint smudge of red. “I’ll be right back.”

Quietly slipping off the sofa, Lacey grabbed her phone and tiptoed out of the room. Ruby’s name flashed on the screen. She made her way upstairs, pausing after each little creek of the steps. On any other evening, when Gold had fallen asleep beside her, Lacey would have stayed put and ignored the call. But there were still some things she needed to finalise for the library before she could start working on it.

“Hey,” she answered, glancing down the stairs to make sure she hadn’t woken Gold. “I hope this is about my offer.”

Without realising it, Lacey walked to the room that had been her guest room. She couldn’t say why. Maybe a part of her needed to see it again, to assure herself that it was real.

“I don’t know,” Ruby hesitated. “Granny won’t like it.”

“I’m not asking you to leave the diner.” Lacey pressed her hand against the door. “Just… you know, maybe cut your hours. Wouldn’t it be nice not to spend every day in the same place?”

As much as she loved Ruby and Granny, Lacey knew she wouldn’t miss waitressing. Being a librarian was the job she’d always wanted, before she’d lost her parents, before she’d decided her dreams would never happen and it was probably better that way. Dreams meant disappointments, she’d used to think, but now that was the exact mentality she was visiting Hopper to get rid of.

“I guess,” Ruby admitted. “I could work at the library a couple days a week.”

“Great!”

“On one condition.”

“What?”

“Tell me what it’s like living with Gold. Honestly.”

Lacey snorted and glanced towards the stairs. The house was still quiet. She couldn’t hear the giveaway click of his cane or footsteps on the stairs.

“It’s fine,” she said, turning back to the guest room door; the door that no longer led to her guest room.

“ _Fine_?”

“It’s still early days. It’s like a honeymoon period.” Lacey pushed the door open and stepped inside. “Now will you help me or not?”

Ruby sighed, a heavy and deliberate sound of exasperation. “ _Fine_.”

“You won’t regret it,” Lacey promised, feeling around on the wall for the light switch. “I’ve gotta go. But we’ll talk more about it tomorrow?”

“Sure, and you can tell me what’s really going on with you and Gold.” Ruby’s amusement was clear in her voice. At any other time, Lacey would have smiled too, but it was at that moment that she found the switch and the nursery flooded with light.

“Right,” she said distantly. “See you tomorrow.”

Ruby barely had a moment to say her goodbyes before Lacey hung up and slipped her phone into her back pocket. The nursery looked warmer at night, cosy and inviting, with the golden glow of the light.

Clasping her hands in front of her stomach, Lacey took tentative steps further into the room. She could almost imagine their baby, already lying in the cot, with the nightlight on. Maybe Gold would tuck them in and read to them. Maybe she would.

She reached out for the golden blanket on the bassinet without thinking. It was soft to the touch, and Lacey brought it up to her nose. It smelt faintly of Gold, of the spice of his cologne, as if he’d had the blanket in his room before bringing it here. She carefully replaced it on the edge of the bassinet, smoothed it out, and touched her stomach.

“Lacey?”

She jumped. She hoped he wouldn’t notice, but she spun around to look at him and his smile gave him away. Gold had noticed.

He stood in the doorway with his cane, but she hadn’t heard him approaching.

“I thought you were sleeping,” she said, crossing her arms.

“I was.” Gold nodded and glanced around the nursery, his smile softening. “You never told me what you think of it. Will it do?”

It suddenly hit her that there’d been no reason for her to sneak off while he slept. She lived there. It was _her_ baby’s nursery, as much as it was his. She wasn’t trespassing into a room she shouldn’t, and he didn’t seem annoyed or confused to find her in there. If she looked closer, she could even see the hint of hope being held back in his eyes.

Dropping her arms, Lacey quietly walked up to him. He watched her, curious and cautious of what she might do. She kissed him, and was glad that she was able to surprise him as much as he’d surprised her. Lacey wound her arms around his shoulders, and pulled Gold down to her height. He wasn’t much taller than her when she wore her boots or heels, but with her bare feet she had to pull him to her.

Returning her kiss, slow and teasing, Gold rested his hand on the small of her back. He bit at her lip and Lacey melted into him. It would have been sweet, but his sharp breath when her stomach met his made her smile slyly..

Lacey slipped her hands into his and broke the kiss. They both needed to catch their breath, and she smiled, pressing her forehead against his.

“Come to bed,” she whispered. Gold nodded, dazed, and followed her out of the nursery.


	12. Little Sister

It hadn’t taken her long at all to make sense of the library’s system. Gold had insisted that the library could wait a few months, but Lacey reminded him that she needed _something_ to do, now that she’d fully moved in. She couldn’t sit around the house all day, waiting for him to come home.

He’d relented rather easily, when he realised she was going to do it whether he wanted her to or not.

“Just don’t lift anything,” he’d warned. “Ruby’s your assistant for a reason.”

The dust had been the worst of it. All of the books had to be taken from the shelves, wiped clean, and then she had to decide which were in a good enough condition to keep and which needed to be replaced. After that, she’d had to look at the library’s budget to see how many new books she could realistically order.

It had required a lot of lifting. Gold couldn’t help, not with his cane, but August and Ruby had been more than happy to move around piles of books and boxes. And when they weren’t around, Lacey had thought nothing of lifting one or two boxes herself. Just once or twice couldn’t hurt.

Rubbing her aching back, Lacey locked up the library and headed across to Gold’s shop. It was early August, but that summer day felt particularly hotter than the previous weeks. Her cheeks were flushed, and she shrugged off her jacket as she crossed the street.

She let herself into the shop, kicked off her boots, and locked the door behind her.

Since he’d given her a key to both his house and the shop, Lacey had made herself at home. He didn’t seem to mind her letting herself in, that’s what the keys were for, and he hadn’t complained yet about her taking over his shop while he wasn’t there. It hadn’t even been an hour since he’d left his shop and passed the library, off to run errands; rent day followed by a session with Hopper. She intended to make herself comfortable.

A twinge in her lower back kept her from sitting still, but it was a relief to take off her shoes. She pottered through the shop to the back room, looking over the wide array of antiques Gold had collected through the years. The value of a lot of them was lost on her. She supposed they were worth whatever someone was willing to pay, but she couldn’t imagine someone paying a lot for a set of ugly puppets or an old spinning wheel.

Spinning the wheel as she passed it, Lacey came to Gold’s desk. She dropped her boots by his chair and picked up a book. His desk was a mess, still strewn with whatever he’d been working on before he left. She didn’t dare touch the opened pocket watch, or all the tiny instruments he’d been using to fix it, but curiosity got the better of her, and there were plenty of other things in the back room for her to distract herself with while she waited. There were old boxes with more trinkets hidden away inside, a row of gold and silver necklaces that needed to be cleaned, and a china tea set.

Fanning herself with the book, Lacey carefully picked up one of the cups and turned it over in her hands. She had no idea how Gold could relax with so many delicate things surrounding him. She’d be too worried about knocking things over, or dropping something, or-- 

The twinge in her lower back spread. The surprise of it, of the sudden cramp in her lower body, made the fragile little cup slip from her fingers.

“ _Shit._ ”

She couldn’t bend down to pick it back up. It rolled under Gold’s desk, but she could see a small little shard by her foot where it had cracked against the floor and chipped. She hoped it wasn’t a valuable set.

Rubbing her back, Lacey carefully lowered herself onto the cot. It hadn’t been long enough for Gold to have finished collecting rent, he definitely wouldn’t be sitting with Hopper yet. She was a week away from her due date, and it would be ridiculous to worry, but Lacey still reached for her phone. She checked for messages and sent a quick text to Gold, asking if he’d be long. There was no need to worry him. There was no need for her to worry herself.

She could wait by herself. She would be fine.

Stroking her stomach, Lacey rested her head back against the wall and waited, still fanning herself with the book. If her concerns hadn't slowly started to rise, she might have slept. Instead, she dozed and listened for a notification from her phone, until the book almost slipped from her hand as well.

He didn’t respond, but the bell in the front of the shop rang and it suddenly didn’t matter that he hadn’t replied. Relief washed through her as she awkwardly pushed herself to her feet, put the book aside, and hurried to the curtain and the shop front.

“I think I-- Neal?” She paused. Her short-lived relief vanished and more nerves quickly seeped in in its place.

Neal stood in the doorway, still holding his set of keys in the lock. He didn’t look happy to see her, but he didn’t exactly look unhappy, either. He looked more surprised, if anything.

“Lacey,” he said warily. “It’s rent day.”

She shook her head, trying to steady her breathing. When had she started panicking?

“I think I’ll need to go to the hospital soon.” The words left her before she could rethink them or remember _who_ she was saying them to. She’d wanted to tell Gold those words, not his son; the son who had once been her close friend and who couldn’t accept their relationship.

He nodded stiffly, his eyes suddenly a little wider, but he didn’t look disgusted or annoyed.

“And dad’s collecting rent,” Neal repeated, and she suddenly realised that he didn’t know what to say either. Both of them felt awkward. Neither of them had any idea how to approach their sudden meeting. He’d clearly been hoping to collect something from Gold’s shop while he was collecting rent.

Lacey shook her head.

“He’s seeing Hopper after,” she said.

Neal frowned. “I didn’t know he was friends with Dr. Hopper.”

“He isn’t.”

“Oh. Right.” He nodded and pocketed his keys, letting the words sink in. “ _Right_. I could… wait with you? It’s better than being alone.”

With a silent nod, Lacey retreated into the back room. Neal didn’t need an invitation. He’d worked there up until only a few months ago, and it was his father’s shop, regardless of their current drift.

She sat on the cot with a sigh, leaning into the pillow to take the pressure off her back. Neal stood awkwardly beside the curtain. He looked over the room. It couldn’t have changed much in the last few months. Gold kept everything organised and in its place. If anything had changed, it was because he’d fixed it and sold it.

Neal just didn’t want to look at her.

Pressing her lips together, Lacey groaned and sat back up. He looked at her then, if only because the sudden movement caught his eye.

“I'm sorry I fucked everything up,” she said quietly. She couldn’t look at him, either.

Neal sighed, but Lacey kept her eyes on her lap as he stepped closer.

“You didn't fuck anything up,” he said. “ _I_ did. I just--... I can't understand why.”

Lacey huffed. “Do you love him?”

“Well, yeah, but--”

“Then why can't I?” She met his eyes then, and he had the same startled look Gold always had when she did something that caught him off guard. In any other situation, it would have made her smile. It made her sad instead. “I love him. I don’t know if that’ll help. But it’s about love, not money or whatever else people are saying.”

Neither of them spoke. Neal’s silence wasn’t a surprise, but she preferred that over hearing any objections or anger or disgust. Silence meant he might be thinking over what she said, and realising that he didn’t mind.

A sharp ache, a cramp, ran from her lower back. Lacey gasped and Neal was at her side in a moment. He took her hand without a word and let her squeeze his fingers.

“How close together are they?”

Lacey tried to breath. “I don’t know,” she said evenly.

Neal frowned. “Shouldn’t we be timing this?”

“That’s for contractions,” she huffed. Releasing his hand, Lacey plumped up the pillow behind her to support herself. “I’ll be fine when Alastair gets here.”

Neal eyed her, but didn’t say anything. He sat beside her on the bed, and Lacey tried not to feel sad when she thought about all the times they’d spent together, not even talking, just enjoying each other’s company. He was her friend for more than a year before she met Gold. He’d been her one, consistent friend through university. He’d brought her to Storybrooke and invited her to stay with him when her apartment flooded. Then everything had changed, and she didn’t know what to say to him anymore.

Lacey sighed.

“I need a drink,” she muttered.

Neal chuckled. “Maybe in a few weeks.”

She wanted to point out that it had already been _more_ than a few weeks, but he was talking to her and she didn’t want to ruin that. So she sat, in almost companionable silence, and picked at the hem of her shirt. Talking now might spoil whatever had made Neal want to stay with her in the first place. He shifted, making himself comfortable on the old cot, and she tried to inconspicuously take her phone out of her pocket.

She would have heard it if Gold had replied, but she still wanted to check.

“You really love him?” Neal asked.

Lacey looked up, stunned to hear him speak and say those words, and a little embarrassed that he knew exactly why she’d pulled out the phone.

Her first instinct was to only nod, put the phone away, and leave it at that. But she needed to stop hiding. It wasn’t easy, it would still take time for her to get used to it, but she had to keep trying.

“When I was staying at your place,” she began, putting her phone beside her on the cot. He hadn’t replied. “Those nights you were with Emma, we talked. Every night.” She swallowed. “We talked about you, about our favourite drinks, favourite music, what we liked to do when we weren’t working. Which mostly involved drinks and music.” They shared a smile. “And we talked about nothing at all… It was nice.”

“Yeah, well.” Neal nudged her with his shoulder. “He’s a good listener when he wants to be,” he said gently.

Lacey laughed, a quiet, wet sound. “Yeah.”

“He’s just…” Neal shook his head. “Different to who you used to go for. Like the last one. The redhead. What was her name?”

Lacey rolled her eyes, ignoring his question.

“Different’s a good thing. Sometimes the best things come when you aren’t looking for them.” She nodded, telling herself that as much as Neal. “He’s exactly--” She swore and leaned forward. Another cramp gripped her abdomen; worse than the last. Neal rubbed her back, but it didn’t really do anything to ease the ache in her lower body.

“I think we should be timing these things.”

“I’m fine,” Lacey insisted, shooing his hand away. “It’s just Braxton Hicks.”

Neal wasn’t convinced. He still frowned with concern and watched her warily as she scooted forward on the cot. She needed to stand up and walk around a bit. That would help. Gold would reply to her text soon and she’d realise she was worrying over nothing. Until then, she needed to focus on other things.

Awkwardly pushing herself to her feet, and ignoring Neal’s offer of help, Lacey looked around the room for a distraction. The room was full of stuff she could change the subject to, and Neal used to work there. He’d know about most of his father’s stock. Her eyes fell on the tiny piece of china, still lying on the floor by Gold’s desk.

“I dropped a cup,” she told Neal. “Could you get it for me?”

He still looked at her with an all too knowing glint in his eye, but he nodded and passed her, to where she pointed to Gold’s desk. If he realised she was changing the subject, he let her do it without comment.

He reached under the desk and felt around for the cup.

“Somehow I don’t think he’s gonna care if you broke a cup,” Neal said, giving her a pointed look. “He’s gonna care more about those Braxton Hicks.”

Lacey looked away, to the empty street outside the back window.

“They’ll probably stop before he gets back.”

“Sure.” Heaving a sigh, Neal stood up and held the cup out to her. The handle hung from his index finger, and Lacey quickly took it to inspect the damage.

“Thanks,” she muttered, disappointed when she saw the obvious V-shape chipped out of the rim of the cup. “Was it valuable?”

Neal shrugged. “Only to him. It belonged to his aunts.”

“Great. And I broke it.” Clasping the cup between both hands, Lacey carefully returned it to the others in the tea set.

“It’ll be fine,” Neal promised. He was oddly calm for someone who knew how meticulous Gold was about his work, and how highly he prized his _things_. “Just tell him what’s going on.”

“ _Nothing’s_ going on.”

“Just call dad. I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“I don’t need to go to the hospital!” Lacey snapped. What she needed was quiet and a moment to think. She needed Gold.

“Lace...” Neal said patiently. “Just call him. It can’t hurt, right?”

He took out his keys and unlocked the back door.

Lacey hesitated, but still reached for her phone. Going to the hospital couldn’t hurt, not if it shut Neal up. She followed him out of the shop, waited for him to lock up, and got into his little yellow car.


	13. Here I Go Again

They hadn’t talked about names. They hadn’t talked about fitting work around looking after their child. There was so much Lacey hadn’t been comfortable with in the first few months, and Gold hadn’t been comfortable with bringing them up. He’d tried, in small pieces here and there. She’d accepted the nursery quicker than he’d expected, and she’d even had her own input in the following months of living together. Mostly she just bought small, cuddly toys or fluffy blankets, but it was a positive sign.

Still, he’d been too hesitant to bring up anything about _after_ the pregnancy.

It wouldn’t be impossible to take a child to the back room of his shop, he supposed. It would be more practical than taking a baby into the library.

Gold stood looking over their nameless baby, a wee thing wrapped in a white blanket, while Lacey slept soundly in her hospital bed. He couldn’t really say which of them the child would take after. She was tiny, but that wasn’t much of an indication. She’d likely have Lacey’s nose, and her darker, wavy hair. Dark wisps of it already covered the top of her head, much darker than Gold’s, and he reached down to lightly brush it with the back of his finger.

She stirred, blinking against the dim light in their private room. Gold desperately wanted to scoop her up and hold her close, but he waited to see if she would fall asleep again or wake up and make a fuss.

He glanced across to Lacey, where she continued to sleep, unaware of him or the baby. Her breathing was even, peaceful, and he didn’t want to risk waking her after eight hours of labour.

The baby wiggled and gurgled, on the brink of crying, and Gold rested his cane against the foot of the bed to carefully pick her up. She fussed, kicking her little legs against the blanket wrapped around her. He put his weight on his good leg, and tried gently shushing her and rocking her against his chest. It didn’t settle her immediately. He worried that he wouldn’t be able to calm her at all, but then her bleary eyes -- as wide and as round as Lacey’s -- looked up at him.

He hoped her eyes would be as blue as Lacey’s.

“Hey, Alice.” Lacey’s voice croaked, groggy with sleep. She probably needed some water, or to wake up properly, but Gold couldn’t stop himself from smiling when he realised she was awake.

“I’ve told you about calling me that,” he warned, but his stern tone was ruined by the obvious smile.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Lacey said, with a faint, amused smile of her own.

Gold frowned, and her smile only widened. Then her eyes, for just a moment, darted down to the baby in his arms. He followed them, as their child sniffled and gurgled, and with it something warm built in his chest.

She couldn’t mean…

“I’m kinda attached to it.” Lacey shrugged. “Not sure why.”

“You want to call her Alice?” he asked, uncertain and thrilled all at once.

“Why not?” Lacey shrugged and tried to sit up. He would have helped if he wasn’t holding their baby. _Alice_. He would have helped her up, fluffed her pillows, and handed her their baby. And anything else she wanted.

“Is she hungry?” Lacey asked.

“I think she is.” He wasn’t sure what to do about that. He was still so unsure of what might be too overwhelming for Lacey, and what she was comfortable with. She surprised him a second later, when she popped open the front of her hospital gown without hesitating, and held out her arms.

Careful not to jostle the baby, Gold lowered her into her mother’s arms and stepped back. Lacey loosened blankets and readjusted her hold of their daughter. Her movements were uncertain and unpractised, but she was determined. Gold sat on the edge of the bed before his leg could collapse underneath him, and gave her room to figure things out for herself.

“A daughter,” Lacey said, gently stroking Alice’s back, as if she was trying to make the words sink in. He couldn’t blame her. He still couldn’t quite believe it himself.

Nodding, Gold watched the baby latch on to Lacey’s breast. 

“A daughter,” he repeated gently, looking up with an apologetic smile. “Hopefully she has your eyes.”

Lacey snorted.

“Why?” Something in her softened, the amusement replaced by something shy, but she shrugged it off as if it meant nothing. “I like your eyes,” she added, looking at Alice rather than him.

Gold swallowed and dropped his eyes to their daughter. He still couldn’t believe how small she was. Neal had been a small baby, he’d felt just as dazed holding Neal for the first time as he did his sister, but she was much smaller. Alice would likely end up more like Lacey than himself. He smiled.

“I hope she has the best of both of us,” he said.

* * *

It was only a couple of weeks after the birth, when Alice was tucked safely away in her bassinet, that Gold found Lacey watching over her.

She didn’t turn to face him when he entered their bedroom. Not even the tap of his cane or his hand on her back brought her attention away from their baby. It was only once Gold was close to her, that he saw her clutching Alice’s knitted blanket between her hands. 

Lacey had been similarly quiet when they’d first brought Alice home. She’d kept turning in her seat, and the only explanations she gave were that she was checking on the car seat or making sure the blanket was straight. She was the same now. She hadn’t come down all morning, and her only reasoning was that she didn’t want to move Alice. Gold had stayed at home to do some work in his office, and the only times he saw Lacey were when he heard Alice crying and went to check on them.

Now it was noon, and she still hadn’t left their room.

“She woke up,” Lacey said quietly, twisting the blanket. “Does she need something?”

Gold peered into the bassinet. Alice was still half-asleep, but she kicked her wee legs and looked around herself curiously.

Smiling, Gold shook his head and gently rubbed Lacey’s back.

“She’s fine,” he promised. “She’ll let us know when she needs something.”

“But how will I _know_?”

He frowned. Lacey still hadn’t looked at him and it wasn’t until that moment, when he looked at her with the fallen hair from her bun covering half her face, that he realised why. Her eyes were full of tears.

“Sweetheart…” At a loss, Gold wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

Lacey didn’t like to cry, she especially didn’t like anyone to see her crying, but she didn’t push him away and he’d take that. He’d offer her whatever she needed as long as it helped her.

Resting her head against his chest, Lacey sniffed and tried to calm herself. He felt her hands grip the back of his suit in a fist, and held her tighter.

“You don’t need me to tell you,” he sighed. “You already know.”

He dipped down to kiss her temple, but Lacey lifted her head and met his lips with her own instead. Her arms slipped up from around his waist to his neck, pulling him down to her height. Gold leaned in to her. Her hands played with his hair and her lips parted, and Gold kissed her back just as eagerly, with his hands on her hips.

When the kiss ended, they pressed their foreheads together and tried to catch their breath. Alice grunted and squirmed in her bassinet, bringing them back to reality.

Pulling away, Lacey wiped her eyes with her wrists and smiled.

Gold let her be. If she wanted to pretend she hadn’t been on the verge of crying, then he’d let her.

“Let’s get you downstairs,” he suggested carefully. “I’ll make you something to eat.”

Nodding along, Lacey picked up Alice without a word and followed him from the nursery.

It was a hot day, and since she’d finally given up on trying to hide her pregnancy, Lacey had taken to wearing summer dresses when it was warm. Even Gold himself had given up on his blazer and waistcoat. Lacey wore a short plaid thing with strap sleeves, and he couldn’t help but smile when he watched her. She looked comfortable, softly swaying their daughter and dressed in her own clothes again, in her own home.

Despite her concerns, she did it with ease, tucking Alice’s head into the crook of her arm and holding her close to her chest. She had nothing to worry about.

Lacey followed him downstairs, patiently waiting for him to take one step at a time with his cane. She gave him a small smile when they reached the bottom, and passed him into the sitting room.

“I wish we could just go to Granny’s,” she said. She sat in his armchair and adjusted Alice in her arms.

Technically, they _could_ go to Granny’s. Alice may have only been two weeks old, but a quick trip to the diner wouldn’t hurt anyone. It was just the hot weather they were worried about, but he could always pick something up for her.

“What would you like?” Gold asked.

“Hmm. I don’t know.” Lacey rocked Alice gently, and she gurgled and wiggled in Lacey’s arms. Gold smiled. “Lasagne?”

“From Granny’s?” Moving his cane to the other hand, Gold pressed his palm to her forehead. Her skin was flushed, but that was only because of the weather. Lacey frowned.

“What’re you doing?”

“Just checking your temperature,” he explained.

That got her to laugh. She tipped her head back, away from his hand, and wrinkled her nose. She tried to look serious and unimpressed with him, but it didn’t work when she couldn’t hide her smile.

“It’s not _that_ bad,” she said.

“Cardboard tastes better, but if that’s what you want...”

Spinning on his heel, Gold walked back towards the sitting room door.

“No, wait.”

He stopped, smiling, and turned to face Lacey.

“I want the chicken parm,” she admitted.

“I’ll see what I can do.” He grabbed his keys and sunglasses. It felt strange to be going outside without his full suit, but allowances had to be made. It was too hot for anything more than his shirt and tie, and no one would dare to comment on what Gold wore. Apart from Lacey. Lacey was the one who’d told him to wear less in the first place.

“Will you be alright?” he called through to the sitting room. “I won’t be long.”

She didn’t reply at first, but he heard her footsteps. A moment later, she appeared in the doorway, Alice tucked into one arm. She grasped his tie with her free hand and smiled.

“I’ll be fine,” she promised, pulling him down for a final kiss. She didn’t sound very confident or sure of that, but Gold knew that she would be fine without him. Lacey was doing better than she gave herself credit for.

* * *

Alice had a playmat with bright colours and flowers; one of the many toys they’d bought to fill the house. It was supposed to look like a cartoon garden, with little animals hanging above her, but Alice was more interested in the sitting room than the fluffy rabbit hanging over her head.

While they ate, Lacey barely took her eyes off her. Even when they spoke, her focus didn’t fully leave their daughter. Gold found himself smiling, until Lacey caught it and playfully narrowed her eyes at him.

“What?”

Gold shrugged and wiped his hands on a napkin. Lacey’s favourite may have been Granny’s chicken parm, but he was still partial to the hamburgers.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” he said, setting his plate on the coffee table with Lacey’s.

Smiling, Lacey sat up and swung her legs over his. She didn’t quite sit on his lap, mindful of his hurt leg, but she shuffled as close to him as she could.

“When can people start visiting?” she asked.

Gold looped his arm around her waist and reached for his water. It had been months since he’d touched his drinks cabinet, for Lacey’s sake. Until she decided to drink again, his whisky would stay safely locked away.

“Whenever you like,” he said.

“So visitors won’t upset her?” she pressed.

He wasn’t sure where she’d got the idea from that visitors might upset a baby, but he didn’t ask. He just shook his head.

“Of course not.”

“Good.” She rubbed his chest, falling into her own thoughts. “Because Ruby wants to come and see her,” she added, pulling his tie loose.

Gold wished he could read her better, to get some insight into why she thought she might fail or upset their daughter somehow. But he couldn’t, and he wouldn’t know what she was thinking until Lacey herself told him.

She pulled the knot from his tie, and he knew she was avoiding something more serious than her friends visiting. She had that feigned look of innocence over her face, her lips pressed into a pout.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

Her eyes briefly looked up at his face, then turned to their daughter. She lay contentedly on her mat, waving her uncoordinated wee arms and hitting the toys suspended above her. Gold smiled, but it didn’t stop him from worrying about Lacey.

“She’s happy,” he told her.

“I know.”

Gold sighed. “Lacey…”

“How about Neal?” she interrupted. “Has he said when he’ll visit?”

He really wasn’t going to get anything out of her until she was ready to talk. She wound the two halves of his tie around her hands, and Gold let her have her distraction. He even smiled, dropping his hand to the curve of her hip.

“That depends if he can get any time off work,” he answered.

Lacey gently pulled on his tie, a smile playing across her lips.

“You could always give him a day off,” she suggested, her eyes focused on his chest.

Gold smirked. “And who would run the shop if I did that?”

She rolled her eyes. “The world won’t fall apart if the shop closes for _one_ day.” 

“He has months of work to catch up on,” Gold reminded her.

For a short moment, a spark of amusement replaced the doubt in her eyes. She pressed her lips together, genuinely smiling, and Gold smiled back.

“I have one more question,” she said, pressing herself against him. Gold took a sip of his water and waited, and he was certain she chose that moment deliberately to ask her question.

“When can we have sex again?” she whispered in his ear with a silky voice. He choked on his water.

Biting back a grin, Lacey ran her fingers through his hair and climbed over him. She left him to clear his throat and dab the water from his chin, and joined their daughter on the floor.

 _Little minx_.


	14. Bad Reputation

She wouldn’t stop crying. No matter what Lacey tried -- feeding her, changing her, playing with her -- Alice would not stop crying. Every little thing, every little noise, seemed to upset her more. The only thing that calmed her was being held.

After a morning of not knowing what to do, Lacey tried taking her outside. Being out, wrapped securely against Lacey’s chest in a sling, calmed her a little. Her cries settled into tiny whimpers. It was an improvement on her sobbing, but it was still enough to make people stare. She should have known they would stare. If she couldn’t stop her daughter from crying, then Lacey was living up to their expectations perfectly.

_She was hopeless. She couldn’t look after a baby. She only had a baby to trap Gold._

“It’s alright,” she soothed against Alice’s head, rubbing her back through the sling.

A couple glanced at her as they walked by and Lacey kept moving.

“It’s alright.”

She walked faster. Going out had been a bad idea, but she was already halfway to town. It wasn’t too cold, even for early autumn, and Lacey was relieved to feel a little freedom of the outdoors. She didn’t want to go home just to avoid prying eyes. There was somewhere else she’d rather be than at home by herself.

She didn’t realise a car was following her until it pulled up beside her.

“You need a ride?”

Lacey turned at the familiar voice, and Neal smiled at her from his little yellow car. He leaned across to open the passenger door.

“Are you sure?” she asked, gently rubbing Alice’s back.

“I’m on my way to the sheriff’s station,” Neal explained. “I could drop you off.”

Lacey hesitated. Alice continued to gurgle and grunt restlessly. The last thing she wanted was for her to cry again while she was around Neal. Then Neal would know how useless she was.

“I don’t have a car seat,” she reasoned, ready to turn him down and shut the door. But Neal only grinned and sat back in his seat.

“That’s fine. You can use ours,” he said.

Frowning, Lacey glanced into the back of the car, at the rear-facing car seat in the middle. She laughed, confused, and Neal’s smile only got brighter.

“Why do you have that?”

He shrugged, pleased with himself. “Thought it might come in useful.”

Lacey looked at him, at his easy smile as if nothing at all was wrong. As if they hadn’t spent months avoiding each other. She returned his smile tentatively.

“Thanks,” she said.

One last look around the street was all it took to convince Lacey. People were starting to watch Neal, not just herself. They probably wondered how he could still be friends with her after what she’d done. She shut the passenger door.

Careful of Alice, Lacey ducked into the back of the car and unfastened the sling. Alice fussed and stretched, but she didn’t cry when Lacey put her into the car seat and strapped her in.

“Are you staying back there?” Neal asked, turning to face her.

It was right on the tip of her tongue to tell him that Alice had been upset all morning. It would have been nice to tell _someone_ that she felt out of her depth, that the whole town was watching her and judging her, but she couldn’t tell Neal.

“Might as well now I’m here.” She smiled. “Let’s go.”

* * *

They came to a stop directly outside Gold’s shop. Lacey hadn’t told him where she was heading. Neal had just known.

“Thanks for this,” she said, unstrapping Alice and hoping she wouldn’t start to cry again. She fussed and grunted, but she didn’t cry. That was something.

Lacey looked up at Neal and smiled. “And for the seat.”

“No problem.” He turned to her. “We’re going to the Rabbit Hole later, if you wanna join us?”

She was about to agree, until she realised she didn’t want to. Not that night, anyway. She looked at Gold’s shop and hugged Alice to her chest, not bothering to rearrange the sling.

“No, I… I think I’ll spend the night at home.”

Leaving Neal with a wave and a goodbye, Lacey carried Alice into the pawnshop. She didn’t think to check that there were no customers or disgruntled tenants, until she burst in and saw Hopper at the counter. He smiled at her and she waved awkwardly. Gold lifted his head from his ledgers, and she could see that he was about to leave everything, whatever he and Hopper were talking about, to come and greet her.

“I’ll wait in the back,” she said quickly, passing them both.

She disappeared behind the partition curtain and sat on the bed with Alice. From the back room, Gold and Hopper’s voices were muffled and distant. That made them easier to ignore. She kept her attention on Alice, and lifted the baby to her face.

“See?” she said gently, smiling at Alice’s wide eyes. She wondered if they’d turn brown. “It’s alright. Your dada’ll know what to do.”

Alice kicked her tiny legs in response and gurgled.

“Yeah. You’re right,” Lacey agreed, carefully lying Alice down in her lap. “He’s better at this.”

The shop’s bell jingled, and Lacey listened to the approaching tap of Gold’s cane. She looked at the curtain before he stepped through it, and he greeted her with a smile. That somehow made her feel worse. He was so happy. He had no idea what she was thinking.

“Was that Neal?” he asked.

“You know someone else with a yellow car?” she returned.

Gold frowned. She’d hope to tease him, but her tone had been more standoffish than jovial. Lacey winced and looked down to Alice, where she grasped Lacey’s thumb in her tiny fist. Her hands were so small. Gold called her wee, and Lacey had to agree. She still couldn’t believe how wee she was.

“Lacey?”

She didn’t respond, and with a sigh he sat beside her on the bed. She ignored the way the mattress dipped under his weight, or her body’s desire to lean against him, and kept her eyes on Alice.

“What’s wrong?” he asked gently.

Lacey shook her head. It should have been easy to tell him after the months that had led up to their daughter’s birth. She’d been able to tell him she loved him, this should have been easy.

She cleared her throat and forced the words out.

“I can’t do it,” she muttered.

Gold put his arm around her shoulder, and she gave in to the need to lean into him.

“You can,” he insisted. “You can do more than you think.”

Lacey looked at him in disbelief, but he seemed to genuinely believe that she _could_ do it; that she was capable. He also looked pained, and that was exactly why she hadn’t wanted to tell him.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your work,” she said, pulling away. “I can leave if you’re busy.”

She stood, lifting Alice with her and hugging her to her chest, but Gold reached for her arm and stopped her.

“Come out with me,” he said.

Standing, he took Alice from her arms and nodded to the loose sling still draped over her shoulders. Lacey quietly started to re-tie it, and tried to ignore how good and natural he looked holding their baby. It was easy for him. Being a father came naturally.

“We could go for a walk in the park,” he suggested, rocking Alice. She didn’t fuss or whine or cry, and Lacey shook her head adamantly.

“It’s almost lunchtime,” she protested.

Gold shrugged. “Then we’ll go to Granny’s first.”

There was little point in arguing. She had hoped to be alone with Gold in his shop, but refusing to leave would only make him worry more. She couldn’t hide anything from him.

Lacey let him help her with Alice, and followed him out of the shop.

* * *

The inside of Granny’s only made her feel worse. She slipped into the window seat without looking at anyone; fully aware that it didn’t stop people from looking at her. It didn’t help that she’d worked there up until a few months ago. Lacey knew the regulars who came in for their lunch every day, and they knew her. Gold shrugged off his overcoat and slipped into the seat beside her. He moved as if he didn’t notice anyone looking at her.

He lay his overcoat across the seat beside him, and turned to her with a smile.

“Shall I hold her?” he offered.

Lacey nodded wordlessly and lifted Alice into his arms. Taking her, Gold lay her carefully across his arm, her little head cradled against his elbow. She had to look away. It was easier to focus on pulling off her jacket and the sling, than on Gold and their baby. Easier and safer.

She put her jacket on the back of one of the chairs, and looked out to the rest of the diner. Ruby and a new waitress served the tables, and she could hear Granny’s voice calling from the kitchens. She could almost imagine that she was still working there, but people hadn’t stared at her anywhere near as much as they did now. Most people had returned to their meals, but a few still muttered and glanced their way. And then it hit her.

It was a slow, dawning realisation, but something she should have noticed earlier. It wasn’t just her they were looking at and judging, it was Gold. Gold, who held his daughter so well and calmed her so easily. He was being judged just as much as Lacey was, if not more.

Frowning, Lacey shuffled around the seat to sit closer to him.

“How do you do it?” she asked.

Gold looked up at her, the soft smile he’d just been giving Alice still on his face. 

“You don’t need me to tell you,” he said.

“No, I meant--” She shook her head and leaned closer, whispering, “How do you ignore them?”

For the first time since entering Granny’s, Gold glanced around the rest of the diner. It was enough to stop the remaining gossips from looking at them, and she wished he’d done it sooner.

“I know that what they’re saying isn’t true.” He sounded tired, uninterested, and Lacey wished she could be more like that; uninterested in what people said about her. But while she knew that what they thought and said about Gold wasn’t true, it was harder for her to think better of herself, when everyone expected the worst.

“I’m gonna just… go,” Lacey excused clumsily, sliding out of her seat.

Leaving Gold without an explanation, she retreated to the back of the diner and hid in the restroom.

No one followed her. She’d almost hoped that Gold would, or Ruby, but she found herself in the restroom alone. 

Pushing herself away from the door, Lacey went to the sinks and looked in the mirror. She didn’t look too terrible; not as tired or as worried as she felt. With her hair falling from her bun like it always did, she almost looked like her old self again. Even her lipstick had managed to stay on during a morning of self-doubt and near-tears.

The restroom door opened, and Gold appeared in the mirror behind her.

“Where’s Alice?” she asked, meeting his eyes in the glass.

“I left her with Ruby.”

Lacey huffed. “Granny won’t like that.”

“You don’t work for Mrs. Lucas anymore. What she likes doesn’t matter.”

Sighing, she turned to him and shook her head. She knew that tone. “Why did you follow me?”

“Why did you run?”

“I didn’t run.”

“Lacey…”

She put her hands on his shoulders, silencing him, and tried to smile.

“People are gonna wonder where we’ve gone,” she reasoned, but he didn’t listen. Shrugging off her words, her concerns about the other people in the diner, Gold put his hand on her hip and pulled her to him.

“Let them,” he growled.

Smiling, Lacey bit her lip and searched his face. He was serious. There wasn’t a single part of him that worried what the people in the diner thought about them, or what they were doing. Right now, they were probably assuming her and Gold were either arguing or making out. All while Ruby looked after their daughter.

Lacey’s smile softened. “You really don’t care?”

“I really don’t,” he asserted. “They’ll find other people to talk about. There’ll be more rumours to spread.”

Lacey nodded. “And what they think doesn’t matter.”

Smiling that lopsided smile that always looked either soft or sly, Gold pressed his forehead to hers.

“Precisely,” he said, holding her close.

Lacey wanted to stay there, hidden away in their own little room, but she could hear the distant, muffled chatter of the diner. They weren’t entirely alone, and they wouldn’t be able to stay there for long.

Sighing, Lacey ran her hands down the front of his chest and stepped back.

“Let’s go,” she said, moving towards the restroom door. “Ruby won’t be getting any work done with us in here.”

Gold agreed and followed her out. She tried to repeat to herself what he’d said, that what people thought didn’t matter and they were wrong. He was right, Lacey just had to find a way to make the words stick. It almost worked, but it wasn’t what distracted her from the curious eyes when they re-entered the diner. Neal provided a distraction all of his own, gently bouncing Alice in his arms while Ruby served the customers at the counter.

“I think they’re managing just fine without us,” Gold mused, standing by her side. 

Lacey threw him an unimpressed look, but he only smiled and left her in the doorway. He approached the counter ahead of her, and Lacey stayed just behind him, waiting to see what would happen.

“Hey,” Neal greeted with a smile for both of them. “I hope you don’t mind. Ruby had to get back to work.”

Lacey shook her head, smiling lightly. “Why would we mind?”

Neal glanced between her and Gold. Things were still a little awkward for them. Not because of any lingering animosity or resentment, but because both of them were so awkward they didn’t know how to bridge the gap. They’d started to rebuild that bridge when Lacey and Neal did, but Lacey had found it easier to get beyond the initial embarrassment.

She sighed and took Alice from Neal. They needed a little push.

“I’m gonna sit down while you two order,” she said, leaving to reclaim their table at the window. They had to talk if they were left alone, and maybe they’d find it easier to talk without her there.

Slipping into her seat, Lacey adjusted Alice in her arms and bounced her gently. She fussed, getting used to being moved around from one person to the next, but she settled into Lacey’s arms quickly. That at least made her smile. The tears of that morning were completely gone, and Lacey could focus on not-so-subtly watching Neal and Gold.

They stood side-by-side, which was a good start, reading the menu. At first neither of them said anything, but then Gold spoke in a soft murmur and Neal smiled.

They’d be alright.

When they were done, and Ruby handed Neal his takeaway bag, he stopped at Lacey’s table.

“Hey.”

“Hey! I’d stay, but Emma’s waiting at the station,” he said, lifting the bag in an awkward wave. “See you tomorrow?”

Lacey smiled and nodded. She had no idea what Ruby had told him, if she’d explained why both she and Gold were in the restroom without Alice, or if Gold himself had told him something. Either way, she knew that Neal _knew_ something was wrong. The poorly concealed concern on his face said it all.

“Sure,” she said. 

He left with a final wave, just as Ruby brought over a tray with their drinks. Gold followed behind her, watching Neal as he walked away. They hadn’t had time to talk over anything that had happened between them, but at least they were speaking now.

Lacey thanked Ruby and waited for Gold to come closer.

“Did you talk?” she asked, turning her attention down to Alice. She already knew the answer.

Gold slid into the seat beside her and sighed.

“Mostly about what to order,” he answered.

Smiling, Lacey lifted her head and squeezed his hand. He didn’t seem convinced there was anything to smile about, but he squeezed her fingers in return and tried.

“That’s a start,” she assured him. “It’ll get better.”


	15. Epilogue - Your Love is Driving Me Crazy

_Six months later._

“I’m leaving.” Lacey leaned around the doorframe, her jacket already on and helmet under her arm. “Will you be alright without me?”

It had been a long day. Now that winter was coming to an end, and spring was starting to chase away the cold sea air, more people were venturing out into the town. It was the busiest she’d seen the library since opening, shortly after Alice was born. Ruby’s presence, juggled between the library and the diner, had been a big help.

Looking up from her stack of books, she smiled at Lacey and nodded.

“I’ll be fine,” she promised for the third time, recording the name of another returned book into the computer.

Lacey nodded. “August’s still here, but I think most people are heading home now. And you should--”

“Lace,” Ruby said patiently, waving her away from the door with the book. “ _I know._ Go. Enjoy your date.”

Rolling her eyes, Lacey pushed away from the door and turned around. Ruby would be fine, she knew that, but she still felt guilty for leaving early.

“It’s not a date!” she called over her shoulder.

“What’s not a date?”

Stopping, Lacey looked down the next aisle and found August with a book open and a smirk on his face. As if he didn’t already know where she was going. His typewriter sat on the table at the end of the aisle, but Lacey couldn’t see which book he’d decided to read instead of writing. His papers didn’t look as if they’d been touched since the last time she spoke to him, more than an hour ago.

“We’re having dinner at Granny’s,” she reminded.

August’s smile grew, and he snapped the book shut with a nod. “Sounds like a date.”

“We’re just going to Granny’s. It’s not a date.”

“There are worse places to go on a date,” August pointed out with a shrug. He slid the book back onto the shelf and joined her at the end of the aisle. “You need a ride, or is Gold picking you up?” 

“No, thanks. I’ve got my bike.” She lifted her helmet for emphasis, and nodded across at August’s typewriter. “How’s the book going?”

“About the same as it has been the past few weeks. Now stop stalling.” He shooed her towards the library doors. “Go enjoy your date.”

“It’s not a date!” she insisted, but still made her way out of the library.

It felt odd not to be locking the doors behind her. She felt for the weight of the keys in her jacket pocket, and breathed in the crisp air. It cooled her cheeks and her nerves, and she walked around the corner with eager steps.

Gold’s shop was already closed. The lights were off, the sign was flipped, and his car was gone.

Lacey smiled and mounted her bike.

Every morning, Gold offered to drive them both to work, but she only accepted those lifts on days where Alice would be with her in the library, instead of with Gold in his shop. No one seemed to mind the librarian having a baby in her office, or with her at the front desk. She could babble away to her heart’s content, but she definitely preferred to be in Gold’s shop. Her tiny hands grasped for any new trinket or ornament her arms could reach, and Gold had to keep a close eye on her. 

Slipping on her helmet, Lacey glanced around the street and started her bike. It was still light, the early spring days were getting longer now, and more people than usual lingered in the street. Some made their way to Granny’s, others peered into shop windows.

Lacey revved her bike and headed home.

Leaving work early meant she beat the usual after work traffic. It was a smooth ride from the library to the pink Victorian, with only the odd car to slow her down. She parked her bike beside Gold’s Cadillac as always, took off her helmet, and headed inside.

Unlike the streets of Storybrooke, the house was silent. No one came to meet her at the door as she stepped inside and locked it behind her. The living room and kitchen were quiet and empty, and so was the dining room, but the silence didn’t worry her. Gold’s overcoat was draped over the back of the sofa, and Alice would need a rest before they went out.

Kicking off her boots, Lacey hung up her jacket and climbed the stairs. She almost called out Gold’s name, but a faint humming from the nursery caught her attention. With a soft smile, she tiptoed up to the door, careful to avoid the floorboards that always creaked under her weight, and peered around the corner.

To the side of the room, beside the crib, Gold stood rocking their daughter. He had her in a baby sling, facing him, and mumbled something sweet and melodic against the top of Alice’s head. Lacey didn’t recognise the lullaby, but Alice seemed calmed by it. She dozed against Gold’s chest, her dark eyes blinking against sleep.

Smiling, Lacey stepped backwards from the door and retraced her steps down the hall. She let her foot press against the creaky floorboard.

“Alastair?” she asked.

The faint singing stopped.

“In here,” Gold called back.

Trying not to look too pleased or amused to have caught him, Lacey walked into the nursery. This time, Gold turned to welcome her, and held his hand out to pull her close. Lacey met his lips with a short, quick kiss, and placed another to the top of Alice’s head. She cooed sleepily, waking up, and Lacey stroked back her soft, dark curls. While she might have inherited Lacey’s hair, the dark eyes that blinked up at her from her smiling daughter were all Gold’s.

Lacey looked up at him, from his pleased smile down to the open collar of his suit shirt. Alice’s baby sling was fastened under his blazer, but he’d had no reason to remove his tie before wrapping it around himself.

Lacey smiled.

“You lost your tie again?”

“It’s the only thing that distracts her,” he said defensively. Alice smiled happily, as if she knew exactly what they were talking about.

“You spoil her,” Lacey laughed. “She has enough toys in that shop to distract her.”

Gold only laughed. There was no point in disagreeing with her when what she was saying was true. He _did_ spoil her. Her room was full of toys, from the top of the drawers to the floor, there were soft toys and blocks and play matts. The back of his shop wasn’t much different.

At least he didn’t point out that the library had just as many toys in her office.

Smiling, Lacey squeezed his arm and stepped back. She couldn’t stand around staring at him all afternoon. They had to meet Neal and Emma soon, and she didn’t want to be late.

“I just wanna get out of these clothes,” Lacey said. “And I’ll be ready to go.”

Gold nodded and went back to gently bouncing Alice. He needed his cane to support him, but he could still easily move with the sling on, and Alice loved it.

“I lay your dress out on the bed,” he told her as she turned to leave.

Lacey paused and looked back at him. “Which dress?”

“The blue one.” Gold smiled, but Lacey only narrowed her eyes.

“And the shoes?” she asked.

“Your tallest heels. Were they not what you wanted to wear?”

There was a gleam in his eyes of a man who already knew her answer. Lacey snorted and rolled her eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that. You _know_ they were.”

Alice fussed and babbled. Gold gently rubbed her back, and Lacey couldn’t resist returning to his side for one last kiss. She caught his lips with her own and he pulled her close. Careful of Alice swaddled between them, Lacey put her hand to their daughter’s side, and stroked Gold’s cheek with the other. He tilted his head into her touch, parting his lips. His own hand rested on her hip, and a heat spread through her.

It was the sort of kiss that almost promised more, but they had somewhere to be and a six month old giggling as if she was being tickled.

Lacey pulled away, leaving Gold with a lovely smudge of dark red on his lips, and pressed her nose to the top of Alice’s head.

“I need to get dressed,” she repeated, not quite meeting Gold’s eyes. “They’ll be wondering where we are.”

She walked to the door before she could be drawn back in. Neal lived with Emma now, but he was still a big part of their family and she intended to keep it that way. She didn’t want them to be late dropping off Alice just because she wanted to keep kissing Gold.

* * *

The first time she’d left Alice with Neal, Lacey had been both relieved and anxious. Relieved because it gave her a whole afternoon to herself. Anxious because she didn’t really want to be by herself. But Neal and Alice had both been fine, and each time she left them alone together it got a little bit easier.

That particular evening, Alice was already half-asleep when Lacey and Gold dropped her off. She would be fine, and so would Emma and Neal. He even found time to tease her about her date before they left. Nothing felt out of place until Gold drove straight passed Granny’s without a word.

Lacey frowned and glanced in the mirror. The diner gradually disappeared behind them, and Gold already had a smirk on his face when she looked back at him.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“You’ll see.”

She didn’t have to wait long. Storybrooke was only a small town, and there weren’t many other restaurants. They pulled up around the side of one Lacey hadn’t been to before. Its price range was considerably higher than Granny’s or the Rabbit Hole combined. Warm light shined out from the restaurant’s ornate windows, and waiters walked between the cloth-covered tables. Everyone inside had on their expensive suits and dresses. Lacey glanced down at her own little dress; with its shorter length and open back.

“What are we doing here?” she asked quietly.

Gold shifted in his seat, making the leather creek softly. She looked up at him warily, and he smiled.

“We’ve been to Granny’s so many times, and the Rabbit Hole,” he began. “I wanted to take you somewhere new.”

“This isn’t really… me,” she said, shaking her head.

Gold sighed, and guilt gnawed away at her for the apprehensive look she’d put on his face.

“Everyone knows you in Granny’s, and I own the Rabbit Hole,” he tried to explain. “But this,” he pointed at the restaurant with a slow, hopeful smile, “is somewhere to make a new memory.”

Lacey pressed her lips together and glanced back at the windows. Everyone inside would stare at her, and she wouldn’t be able to afford a single thing herself.

“Here,” Gold said, taking her hand. “I wanted to do this before we went inside.”

He pressed something small and velvet against her palm. Lacey’s heart pounded. It reminded her of all those months ago in the diner, when she’d been pregnant and he’d given her the key to the library. She’d assumed, for just a moment, that he was offering her a ring, not a key. Now it was finally happening and she didn’t know what to do. She just stared at the little black box in her hand and wished her heart would stop racing.

“So you won’t have to worry about people looking at you,” Gold added gently. “And if you still don’t want to go inside, then we can go to Granny’s. If you… say yes.”

When she still couldn’t respond, Gold popped open the box with a soft snap, and revealed the ring. The inside of the Cadillac was dark, but the streetlights and the light from the restaurant caught the glinting diamonds on the thin, silver band. Lacey tilted the box, watching the sparkle in stunned silence.

“Lacey?” Gold prompted, and she finally caught the note of hesitation and uncertainty in his voice.

Shaking her head, she smiled and offered the box back to him.

“You have to ask me,” she said.

His answering smile was sweet and trusting, and he plucked the ring from its silk cushion. Lacey turned in her seat to face him, hoping that he wouldn’t notice the slight tremor in her hands or somehow know that her heart was racing a mile a minute.

He took her hand and met her eyes without hinting whether he knew what he had done to her or not.

“Will you marry me?” 

Lacey nodded before he had a chance to finish the question. Her voice had left her and she didn’t trust herself to speak again. A well of emotion built up in the back of her throat, and Gold didn’t push her for more than her enthusiastic nodding. He smiled and slid the delicate ring onto her finger, and Lacey realised that he was shaking, too.

She admired the ring for only a moment, before she put her hand on his thigh and leaned over to kiss him.

“Thank you,” she whispered between kisses.

He shook his head, smiling dazedly. “For what?”

Careful of his leg, Lacey lifted herself across the seats and sat herself in his lap. He didn’t complain or protest, even if she creased the front of his lovely suit. Lacey ran her hand down the front of his chest and smiled.

“For asking me in here and not in there,” she said.

Lacey planted a final kiss to his lips and carefully shuffled off Gold’s lap. He reluctantly let her go. Both of them would have been happy to stay where they were -- alone together and sharing that private moment -- but Gold had taken her somewhere classy. She intended to enjoy it, now that she knew why. She wouldn’t let anyone, especially the people inside that restaurant, ruin the way she felt in that moment.

Giddy, Lacey lifted her hips and fixed the hem of her dress. Gold watched her quietly. She felt a little thrill when she looked up and saw _how_ he watched her. His eyes looked black in the dark, hungry and captivated, and just as dark as the streak of lipstick on his mouth. Lacey bit back a smile.

“You might wanna wipe that off before we go in,” she said, reaching out to rub her thumb across his lower lip. Gold smiled, letting her wipe away the red smudge as best as she could. When that didn’t work, she plucked his pocket square from his breast pocket, and carefully wiped away the rest.

He waited patiently for her to finish; tilting his head towards her with a faint, amused smile. If she wanted, and she was tempted to, she could pretend the smudge was far worse than it really was. She was sure he’d let her keep touching him. He’d trustingly hold still while she touched his lips and put her hand against his shoulder, the side of his neck, or his jaw to keep him in place.

A year ago, he wouldn’t have shown her that level of trust. Trust and warmth and love. Neither of them would have dared to be seen together in public. A look or a touch like that could have given them away. And now it didn’t matter. Now they were sitting outside the priciest restaurant in Storybrooke, engaged, with her wiping her lipstick from his face.

“Better?” he asked, pulling her from her thoughts. Lacey realised she was staring at his mouth.

Smiling, she pulled away and folded the handkerchief, just to keep herself from kissing him again. Gold sat still, waiting with amusement as she slipped the square back into his pocket, and smoothed down the front of his suit.

“Much better,” Lacey decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this fic a year ago to the day, and what a year... Thank you everyone who commented and left kudos along the way. I hope you enjoy the ending. Maybe I'll revisit this verse next year 💋


End file.
